Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • If you pass out in front of your kids they will either try to call an ambulance or use you as a trampoline. You just don’t know.
  • Getting left on read really gives me perspective on what Nigerian princes go through.
  • “Machines will soon be as smart as people.” Ok, but which people?
  • I’m not a perfectionist. I’m more of a good-enoughist.
  • The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.
  • If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.