100 Funny after quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I hurt my bottom after shaking it at the office party. It was a twerk-place injury.

  Commentary:
  Oh no, sounds like you really put your backside into it at the office party! 💃🤕 Better stretch those glutes next time to avoid a "twerk-place injury" situation again! 🍑😄

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

  Commentary:
  Well, at least the Titanic's pool is dedicated to maintaining its H2-legacy! 💦🚢 Who knew the ship had its own eternal hydration plan? Just keep swimming… or sinking, in this case! 😄 #TitanicPoolGoals

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  5 months ago

  Share →: After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.

  Commentary:
  "Welcome to 'Sloppy Saucers with Chef Tipsy' – where the dishes aren't the only ones getting cleaned! 🍸🍽️ Get ready for a 'spirited' display of suds and spills as we navigate this tipsy cleanup adventure together! 🥴✨ #CheersToCleanliness"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the humble water tower – the silent overlord of town nomenclature! 🏰💧 It's like they're just daring you to forget their existence by plastering the town's name in giant letters, towering above all else. 😄 Next time you drive through a small town, remember to give a nod to the unsung hero, the water tower, without whom the town would just be… well, unnamed! 🚗🌆"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: “Bye, have a great day, I’ll see you after school”, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch.

  Commentary:
  "Sending off the orange with big expectations for its day at school! 🍊📚 May it avoid getting 'squished' in the lunchbox drama. See you later, citrus friend! 😄 #SchoolLunchAdventures"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

  Commentary:
  "Like a GPS with a twist of thriftiness! Taking the road less travelled with a sat nav less expensive is the ultimate budget-friendly adventure 🚗💸 Who needs fancy navigation systems when you've got a sense of direction and a bargain in hand! 😄🗺️ #SavingsGoals"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Back to work after the long holiday weekend, so you’re finally away from the relatives you don’t like, and back with the co-workers you don’t like.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the bittersweet transition from avoiding nosy Aunt Mildred to dodging chatty Steve from accounting 🙈 At least you have the office coffee machine to commiserate with ☕️ Here's to another week of pretending to laugh at Dave's unfunny jokes! 😆 #BackToReality"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

  Commentary:
  "Oh, the ultimate twist in spa history! The massage therapist becoming the massagee 🤣💆‍♂️ Who knew self-care could involve such a role reversal! #MassageTherapistGoals"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Sex is great, but have you ever started slowly picking up speed after sitting in a traffic jam?

  Commentary:
  Ah, who needs to find love when you can find the perfect rhythm merging into traffic instead? 🚗💨 Forget about slow dancing, slow traffic-picking is where it's at! 😅 #TrafficJamThrills

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: It seems that after checking my bank account, I need to turn to a life of crime.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like I'll be trading in my calculator for a ski mask! 💸🔫 Just kidding, I'll stick to legal ways to boost my bank balance…for now! 😂💼 #ImTooPrettyForPrison"

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