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55 Funny alone quotes

It’s not ‘drinking alone’ if you’re at work.

3 months ago

Maybe if I spend another day alone in my room then something life-changing will suddenly happen to me!?

3 months ago

If you’re the type of person who likes to be left alone, I’m with you. Better yet, I’m not with you.

3 months ago

If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.

3 months ago

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

3 months ago

Sorry that I cannot come out drinking with you tonight, as I will be drinking at home. Alone. By myself.

3 months ago

If you need time alone, just announce that you need help cleaning the cats litter box.

3 months ago

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

3 months ago

Instead of renting an apartment, I’m going to save up for a lighthouse and go insane in it.

3 months ago

“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

3 months ago

You’re never alone. There’s mold.

3 months ago

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

3 months ago

The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevin’s parents bought this house for like $250K.

3 months ago

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

3 months ago

Public transportation is great, but they should invent a type where it’s only me in the vehicle.

3 months ago

Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.

3 months ago

I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

3 months ago

Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

3 months ago

Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.

3 months ago

I’m not alone. I have ants.

3 months ago