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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

At my size, I’d be called Buffet the Vampire Slayer.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I’m forced to conclude that not liking my posts is a you problem.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Can y’all just post your therapist’s advice in the comments so I don’t have to go?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Can anyone recommend some basic intrusive thoughts for someone looking to get into anxiety?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Is it too late to reset my life back to factory settings?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1822 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,984

Funny Quotes Topics

14,791

Funny Quotes Images

11,984

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Every time I see a dog with its head out a window, I know it’s having a better day than I am.

Just shared via Discord:

My life plans are fading like Marty McFly’s family photo.

Just landed via Twitch:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

It’s really sad that April Fools is the only day people are appropriately skeptical of stuff they read on the internet.

Trending via YouTube:

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

Just landed via Reddit:

I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

Trending via Instagram:

As I’m cleaning my room, this is a friendly reminder that you actually don’t need that free t-shirt or tote bag from that event.

Trending via Twitch:

I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

Making waves on Discord:

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

Home » Funny Alone Quotes » Page 2

75 Funny alone quotes

More funny alone quotes 👇

2 weeks ago
Share →: I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

Commentary:
When you're introverted but still want to let people know you’re cool: "It's not you, it's me… and my love for sweatpants and Netflix! 😎🛋️📺"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Group projects taught me how to do everything alone and trust no one.

Commentary:
"Mastering the art of solo teamwork! 😅✌️ #TrustIssues101"
3 weeks ago
Share →: Getting the house to yourself for a night is basically winning the lottery.

Commentary:
"Finally, peace and quiet! Now to enjoy my 'lottery winnings' by not sharing the remote. 🎉📺 #LivingTheDream"
3 weeks ago
Share →: People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.

Commentary:
"Honestly, I'm convinced my morning voice is just my vocal cords practicing social distancing! 😂🗣️🤷‍♂️"
4 weeks ago
Share →: Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

Commentary:
"Trying to keep my flame alive while dodging strong gusts of reality! 😂🕯️💨"
4 weeks ago
Share →: Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.

Commentary:
"Me-time champion over here! 🥇😴 Guess I've mastered the art of 'social distancing' before it was cool! 😂🙌"
1 month ago
Share →: Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

Commentary:
"Sounds like my morning routine agrees: rise and shine… eventually! ⏰☕😴"
1 month ago
Share →: My love language is caffeine and being left alone until I’m kind again.

Commentary:
"Proof that coffee is cheaper than therapy! ☕😜 #JavaJester"
2 months ago
Share →: Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.

Commentary:
"Who knew being a homebody was actually an advanced social strategy? 😂🏠 #WinningAtIntroversion"
2 months ago
Share →: Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

Commentary:
"BRB, deleting my phone… if you don't hear from me soon, I've found Nirvana! 📵😂🧘‍♀️"

For even more funny alone quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny alone quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Oh, sorry, I can’t right now. I’m imagining some things and worrying about them.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Tonight, my poor liver has to pay again for what went wrong during the week.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

When people say I don’t mean to brag, they’re bragging about not bragging.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

“I saw your ex!” A very unnecessary piece of information.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I feel like an adult spelling bee would humble a lot of us.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

A moment of silence for the paycheck that was in my account for five minutes.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Me, aged 20: This is internship summer. I will get an internship. I will find a job. I will study. I will read. I will learn piano. I will… Me, nowadays: This summer, I’m going to try all of the ice cream flavors.

Spotted on TikTok:

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

Going viral on Discord:

The sexual tension between me and a late afternoon coffee to get me through the workday.

Spotted on Discord:

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

Making waves on Telegram:

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

Trending via Telegram:

It’s almost bed time, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

Going viral on Reddit:

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Vaping: When you feel like smoking but don’t want to look cool.

Trending via Telegram:

My son got braces today. Yay, he’s not going to be a teenage dad.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Somewhere there’s a girl ignoring 15 guys for a guy who gives her no attention.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

75 Funny alone quotes

More funny alone quotes 👇

For even more funny alone quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny alone quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

Being loved right feels like telepathy and a little bit of witchcraft.

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

The funniest thing about Batman is that he legitimately doesn’t give a shit about crime that happens during the day.

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

Perhaps we should have further developed natural intelligence before venturing into artificial intelligence.

Life is short, unless you’re listening to a kid describing an episode of PAW Patrol.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Don’t come to my house unannounced; I will stare at you from my window.

Stop checking up on your friends, and check up on me.

Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”

I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

Dance like China isn’t watching.

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

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