57 Funny alone quotes

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  4 months ago

  View →: Instead of renting an apartment, I’m going to save up for a lighthouse and go insane in it.
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  4 months ago

  View →: “Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.
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  4 months ago

  View →: You’re never alone. There’s mold.
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  4 months ago

  View →: ‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?
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  4 months ago

  View →: The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevin’s parents bought this house for like $250K.
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  4 months ago

  View →: If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Public transportation is great, but they should invent a type where it’s only me in the vehicle.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I’m not alone. I have ants.
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  5 months ago

  View →: In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.
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  5 months ago

  View →: “Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.
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  5 months ago

  View →: There are advantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it. There are disadvantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Being single: When you don’t have to wait for someone to watch the next Netflix episode.
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  5 months ago

  View →: If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a kid that heals two men that were savagely beaten.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.
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  5 months ago

  View →: If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle and explode into a thousand bats to get out of social situations.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Netflix & by yourself.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Life hack: give yourself 8 to 12 hours of alone time in the morning to mentally prepare for the day.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

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