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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Nothing is impossible, except for my daughter returning home with the hat and gloves she wore to school this morning.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Yeah, I have a drinking problem. It’s called dehydration.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Why do guys named Timothy go by Tim when they could go by Moth?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Grok, is this true? Grok, am I original? Grok, am I the only one? Grok, am I sexual?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

I alway get the same thing every year for Christmas. Fat!

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

5 hours ago

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

My kids didn’t follow me into the bathroom so now I’m scared to leave and find out what they got into instead.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. How many minutes did you spend listening to your girlfriend this year?

Freshly posted on X:

Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.

Trending via Threads:

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

Freshly posted on Discord:

“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

Breaking via Twitch:

I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

Freshly posted on Threads:

If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.

Shared recently on Reddit:

If parallel universe exist, I hope the other me is doing well.

Live now on Twitch:

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

Freshly posted on X:

I’ve started eating healthier and exercising if you’re wondering why I’m in such a crappy mood all of a sudden.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

5 hours ago

Users Online

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

My favorite part about going camping is the part where I stay at home, and I don’t go camping.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Stop avoiding your banking app. Go look at what you’ve done.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Unpopular opinion: The moon is actually way more useful than the sun. Because the moon gives us light at night when it’s dark. The sun only gives us light during the day when it’s already bright.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

My housemates are convinced our house is haunted. I’ve lived here for 274 years and not noticed anything strange.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Climbing Mount Everest looks super boring and dumb. You just walk uphill, are cold and at the brink of death. No thanks.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I just lost all my tabs. Only now do I understand the tragedy that was the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

I am thinking of watching a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

When people tell me “you’re going to regret that in the morning”, I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver.

Shared recently on WeChat:

If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

Going viral on WeChat:

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

Just shared via Discord:

I had 99 problems but getting divorced solved 98 of them.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I cheat on my taxes by sleeping with other people’s taxes.

Making waves on X:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

Reported on Telegram:

Tried to sleep by reading a boring book and now it’s suddenly the most interesting book.

Reported on Messenger:

Having a car is crazy cause you gotta take it to the car doctor.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Just shared via X:

The me who snips coupons needs to communicate better with the me who walks into the stores.

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