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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

It takes so much energy to go inside a Walmart.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Grok, is this true? Grok, am I original? Grok, am I the only one? Grok, am I sexual?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Been getting really into nothing.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

My favorite yoga pose is reaching for the remote control on the far end of the table without falling off the couch.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

You can’t boss me around. You’re not my bladder.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

I prefer my weighted blanket in human form.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

The Bloodhound Gang were very special because its music for 12-year-old boys, but every reference requires you to be 40 years old.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,486

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

Making waves on Facebook:

Tensing up so the masseuse doesn’t win.

Just shared via Slack:

To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

Just shared via Reddit:

The worst thing about being an adult is that you have to be one every single day.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Sleep is a beautiful thing. You don’t miss anyone, you can’t do anything wrong and you simply feel nothing.

Breaking via Twitch:

Women will be like “I know a spot,” and then take you directly to hell.

Making waves on WeChat:

Ants can be found on every continent except Antarctica, which is weird considering their name.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

Going viral on Instagram:

I was going to cause mischief tonight, but I climbed into my bed instead.

Trending via Snapchat:

I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

92 Funny beauty quotes

More funny beauty quotes 👇

God gives the most irritable bowels to the most beautiful angels.

1 week ago

angel, beautiful, beauty, bowel, bowels, digestion, God, health, humor, irritable, irritable bowel, most
I love mirrors because they remind me of how pretty I am.

1 week ago

am, beauty, confidence, humor, i, love, me, mirror, mirrors, pretty, reflection, remind, self-love
It really cannot be overstated how many of your problems disappear once you have a beautiful woman who is in love with you.

2 weeks ago

beautiful, beauty, disappear, humor, love, once, problem, problems, relationship, woman
I think probably the reason some people look better at 30 than at 20 is because they’re wealthier.

2 weeks ago

20, 30, age, aging, appearance, beauty, better, humor, i, lifestyle, money, people, reason, think, wealth
I got Botox, and I asked the doctor, “How many years younger will this make me look?” and he was like, “Zero. You’ll just look like the other girls your age who have also gotten Botox.”

1 month ago

age, asked, beauty, beauty treatment, Botox, cosmetic, cosmetic procedure, doctor, girls, got, humor, i, joke, just, look younger, me, procedure, skincare, treatment, younger, zero
If I were to “picture everybody in the room naked,” I would be stunned and in awe of the beauty and diversity of the human form before me. But thanks for the advice.

1 month ago

advice, awe, beauty, before, diversity, form, human, human form, humor, i, me, naked, picture, room, thanks
You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.

2 months ago

beautiful, beauty, combative, contrast, detained, humor, interaction, personality, personality contrast, questioning, sarcasm, situation, unexpected, unexpected situation
We are talking about how beautiful and cool you are behind your back.

2 months ago

back, backtalk, beautiful, beauty, behind, compliment, cool, coolness, gossip, humor, irony, talking
If you talk about astrology, and no one stops you, it means you must be incredibly pretty.

2 months ago

appearance, astrology, beauty, compliment, humor, interaction, means, pretty, social, social interaction, talk, talking
Forgetting to put jewelry and perfume on is literally the worst feeling.

2 months ago

accessory, beauty, care, daily, daily routine, fashion, feeling, forgetting, humor, jewelry, literally, perfume, personal, personal care, put, routine, worst

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All funny beauty quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on YouTube this month:

A weekend in a log cabin with a hot tub sounds perfect right now.

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self-righteous, and wanting to go home.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

67 shares on Threads this month:

Awake? You may be entitled to compensation.

50 shares on Discord this month:

Some of you aren’t reading the room. Not even listening to the room on audiobook.

92 shares on Messenger this month:

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremedous boredom.”

99 shares on Messenger this month:

Nobody could stop me if I wasn’t tired all the time.

22 shares on Discord this month:

I didn’t lose an hour of sleep. The hour of sleep lost me.

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Savannah is one of the only girl’s names that’s also a significant “biome”.

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

My last straw is way longer than I thought.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Here’s your daily reminder to not forget about Dre.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

There’s nothing like the excitement of a brand-new book to add to the massive pile of books I still haven’t read.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Making a cult with only intuitive introverts so we can all sit in silence, side-eyeing each other suspiciously.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

What if we kissed while watching the decay of our society?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Stop worrying if people like you. They don’t.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’m as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don’t need any change.

Spotted on Discord:

If politicians can text my cell phone asking for money, I should be able to text them directly with policy suggestions.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

TikTok? I still call it a watch.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Why are moths always out at night when they like light so much? Wait til y’all find out about the sun.

Spotted on TikTok:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, there are only 4 days until Christmas.

Activity Log ✨

92 Funny beauty quotes

More funny beauty quotes 👇

All funny beauty quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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