32 funny teeth quotes - Wordgag

My favorite part about health insurance is how your teeth and eyeballs are add-ons.

May 28, 2026

The idea that wisdom teeth are just some random glitch that God forgot to patch, so now we have to pull them out with modern technology, is retarded.

May 28, 2026

People don’t catch bullets with their teeth anymore, get out there and practice.

May 28, 2026

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

May 27, 2026

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

May 27, 2026

Don’t forget to brush your teeth, comb your hair, cleanse your face, and share my posts.

May 27, 2026

Whitening my teeth by getting a tan.

May 26, 2026

Brushing your teeth at night is a hellish chore. Walking from bed to bathroom feels harder than working in the mines all day. I’m getting pissed just thinking about it.

May 26, 2026

She was rare. Like a meth head with good teeth.

May 26, 2026

Just had my biannual teeth cleaning like some barn animal.

May 26, 2026

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

May 25, 2026

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

May 24, 2026

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

May 24, 2026

Hate when I get halfway there and have to go back for my teeth.

May 24, 2026

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

May 24, 2026

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

May 23, 2026

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

May 23, 2026

My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

May 22, 2026

What no one tells you about having kids is that within a few years you’re in possession of a lot of teeth that you have no idea what to do with.

May 22, 2026

I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

May 22, 2026

Men look so amazing for people who use the same product for their teeth, hair, floor and car washing.

May 22, 2026

You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like “ohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”

May 22, 2026

Milk teeth are wasted on children. A new set of teeth would be a lot more useful when you’re older.

May 21, 2026

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

May 21, 2026

Humans should grow a new set of teeth in our 30s to make-up for all the poor decisions in our 20s.

May 21, 2026

No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.

May 20, 2026

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

May 20, 2026

Why does the dentist have to take an x-ray of my teeth? They right there, bro!

May 20, 2026

Anyone else brush their teeth in the shower so they can get a little sloppy with it, or is that just me?

May 20, 2026

I did not spend years turning the faucet off while I brushed my teeth, so corporations could ruin the environment with festering AI slop.

May 19, 2026

The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

May 19, 2026

I’m an adult. I can do whatever I want. And yet, here I am just doing laundry, eating salads, taking antidepressants, flossing my teeth, and going on little walks. Like an IDIOT.

Apr 1, 2026