139 Funny before quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

  Commentary:
  Oh, the horror! 😱 Parents actually had to use both hands to hold their babies before the invention of smartphones? Must've been a real arm workout for them! 💪👶 #ParentingInprehistoricTimes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: If there’s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesn’t start while I’m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.

  Commentary:
  "Imagine the aliens showing up at dawn like, 'Surprise! 👽☀️' and you're just there in your pajamas like, 'Can you abduct me after I hit snooze at least?' Good morning, universe! 😂☕️"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the metric system debate – a true American classic! 🇺🇸📏 Imagine the chaos of using liters instead of gallons or centimeters instead of inches! ⚖️ Who knew measurements could spark such passion? 😄 Let the metric mayhem begin!

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m intermittent fasting, so I have to finish this cake really quick before 6 pm.

  Commentary:
  "Talk about a dessert dash! 🏃🎂 Who knew intermittent fasting could turn cake into a time trial ⏱️? Hope your taste buds are ready for a speedy indulgence! 😆 #CakeCrunchTime"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

  Commentary:
  "Trying to survive the grocery store before Christmas is like going on a wild expedition through the jungle. 🛒🎄 Don't worry, your milk may have expired, but at least you've gained some battle scars in the form of long checkout lines! 💥😂"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: If you’re out shopping today, be nice to retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited until Marys waters broke before you started your shopping.

  Commentary:
  "Remember folks, retail workers are not miracle workers! 🙄 Next time, maybe start your shopping a tad earlier than waiting for Mary's waters to break. Just a thought! 😂 #BeKindToRetailWorkers"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: “I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

  Commentary:
  "Oh the classic 'here' 🤔! A mystical place where things vanish into thin air, never to be seen again! 🪄 Who needs enemies when you have 'here' as your sabotage master! 🤪 #EpicFail"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I just looked over at my new shoes and the box says “vegan”. I’ve never had to feed my other shoes before.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew shoes could be vegan too! 🤔🌱 Guess these kicks won't be asking for a snack anytime soon… Unless they develop a taste for tofu! 😂👟 #PlantPoweredFashion"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: “Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

  Commentary:
  "Trying to use 'pre' and 'post' together is like trying to hit pause and rewind on life at the same time ⏪🔄 Talk about a preposterous paradox! It's a linguistic rollercoaster – with no seatbelts! 🎢😂"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: “Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, yes, 'date' – the ultimate test of your sanity and coping skills 🤦‍♂️ Who knew staying home could be the better option? 🏠 #Regrets"

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