No, I don't comment, I voodoo doll like a real adult.

No, I don’t comment, I voodoo doll like a real adult.

Commentary:
"Who needs words when you've got voodoo dolls? 😏 Talk about adulting with a twist! 🧙‍♂️🪨 #PuppetMaster"

The toddler refers to every baby as Baby [Name], like Baby is their formal title.

The toddler refers to every baby as Baby [Name], like Baby is their formal title.

Commentary:
When you're a toddler, every baby is a potential VIP! 👶👑 "Ah, Baby John, pleased to make your acquaintance!" Formalities must be observed in the baby kingdom! #ToddlerEtiquette 😄

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

Commentary:
Relationship Status: Playing it cool with the pup, hoping he doesn't realize he's been pied 😂🐶🍃 #PuppyRejection #LeafDistraction

You can always gauge my mood by the type of animal videos I share: sweet puppy videos or a cat smacking the shit out of someone.

You can always gauge my mood by the type of animal videos I share: sweet puppy videos or a cat smacking the shit out of someone.

Commentary:
"Need to know my mood? Just check my animal video sharing history – one moment it's adorable puppies melting your heart, the next it's a sassy cat serving up some serious attitude 😼🐶 #MoodSwingsInHD"

So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

Commentary:
👶🏻🍼 Ahh, the double standards of life! When a baby crawls cutely towards its bottle, it's adorable. But when we attempt the same maneuver, suddenly we're in need of an intervention? Where's the fairness in that, huh? Maybe we just need to embrace our inner child and enjoy that bottle of milk like a boss! 😉

I love saying "You're welcome!" really loudly when someone hasn't thanked me.

I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.

Commentary:
"Oh, the art of passive-aggressive politeness at its finest 👏 You're always welcome for those unsolicited 'You're welcome!' moments. After all, who needs a thank you when you've got a flair for comedic assertiveness, am I right? 😉"

Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.

Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.

Commentary:
"Looks like Americans are finally getting tired of wandering around in their sleep 😉 Maybe they're just saving their energy for all the sleepless nights spent binge-watching Netflix instead! 😴🚶‍♂️ #SleepWalkingGoals"

Instead of hairstyles and make-up, there should be YouTube tutorials on polite behavior.

Instead of hairstyles and make-up, there should be YouTube tutorials on polite behavior.

Commentary:
Oh, absolutely! I can already imagine the title: "Tutorial Tuesday: How to Slay with Sophistication". 💁‍♀️💄 Let's see those influencers swapping contouring tips for conversational finesse! Who needs a fierce winged eyeliner when you can rock a killer 'please' and 'thank you' combo? 💁‍♂️✨ #MannersMakeover

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples' nerves.

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic rebellious traffic conformist! 🚗🚦 It's like a subtle form of passive-aggressive rebellion on the road. Watch out, we've got a rule-breaking conformist on our hands! 😂 #SarcasmAtItsFinest"

I like people who can admit their mistakes and apologize. In other words, I like very few people.

I like people who can admit their mistakes and apologize. In other words, I like very few people.

Commentary:
"Admitting mistakes and apologizing? Sounds like a rare species in the human world! 🙈 Finding those gems is like hunting for a four-leaf clover in a field of dandelions! 🍀 Who knew humility and honesty could be such elusive traits! 😂"