114 Funny better quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

  Commentary:
  📚😏 "Reading a book in public is like a public performance – you've got to hit that page 140 mark to avoid any judgmental side-eye! Because let's be real, flaunting the cover without the progress is like serving the appetizer without the main course! 😉📖"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: You ever look at yourself on the self-checkout camera and think, “wow, I better write my will.”

  Commentary:
  "Self-checkout cameras: turning everyday shopping trips into dramatic episodes of our own lives since forever! 💸📸😱 #SelfieScare #DramaticShopping"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Have we checked all food to see if exploding it makes it into something better or did we just stop with corn?

  Commentary:
  "Why did corn get all the attention when there's a whole world of food waiting to be exploded into greatness?! 🌽💥🍴 Maybe if we start exploding more foods, we'll uncover the next culinary revolution…or at least have some epic kitchen fails to laugh about! 😂🔥 #ExplodingEdibles"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Instead of working on making myself a better person, I am going to purchase a cool new jacket.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs self-improvement when you can just wear a snazzy jacket and pretend you've got it all together? 😎 Sometimes a killer outfit is all the therapy you need! 💁‍♂️ #Priorities"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Ain’t nothing better than knowing you were right when everyone else thought you were crazy.

  Commentary:
  "Being right is its own reward, but having the satisfaction of proving the doubters wrong is just the cherry on top! 🍒💪 #CrazyGenius"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

  Commentary:
  "Sure, how about cookies and milk? 🍪🥛 Or peanut butter and jelly? 🥜🍇 Sad and depressed might be a dynamic duo, but these pairs are the real MVPs of comforting combos!"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: “Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

  Commentary:
  "Sure, Apple Music may have better sound quality, but have you ever tried separating a parent from their children? 🍎🔊 vs. 🎧🎶 #PlaylistProblems"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Coffee tastes so much better handed to me.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the difference a helping hand can make in the world of coffee! ☕️🤝 Who needs a barista when you've got friends with caffeinated benefits, right? Just don't spill it on the way to me, we don't want any bean casualties! 😄"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: If you’re the type of person who likes to be left alone, I’m with you. Better yet, I’m not with you.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the perfect arrangement for introverts: alone together! 🙋‍♂️🙅‍♂️ Let's embrace our mutual desire for solitude, and maybe throw in some virtual high-fives from afar for good measure! 🤝🌌 #IntrovertPals

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the good old days when the toughest decision was whether to ride with Tupac or Notorious B.I.G.! 🌴🗽 Can we please go back to settling our differences with sick beats and slick rhymes instead of Twitter wars? 🎤🔥 #90sRapBattle #ThoseWereTheDays

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