Funny quotes better Page 5

100 Funny better quotes

Anyone who thinks things have got so bad that they can only get better is showing a remarkable lack of imagination.

3 months ago

Old and bitter feels much better than I thought it would.

3 months ago

Studies show that 100% of all parents think alcohol tastes much better after spending the day with children.

3 months ago

Eatіng іn bed іs much better. Everythіng’s a napkіn.

3 months ago

The me who snips coupons needs to communicate better with the me who walks into the stores.

3 months ago

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

3 months ago

Relationship status: you’d think something called a Roomba would be a better dancer.

3 months ago

“This would be better if there was cake” really does ring true in any situation.

3 months ago

Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

3 months ago

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

3 months ago

Some people are like clouds. When they go away it’s much better.

3 months ago

I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.

3 months ago

Nobody plays better together than siblings being told it’s bedtime.

3 months ago

I Knew Better, But I Did It Anyway: A Memoir

3 months ago

Lego better be trying to cure child cancer with how much their shit cost.

3 months ago

Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

3 months ago

I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

3 months ago

I wish I could join, but I’m busy plotting revenge because my kids laughed when I showed them I can shake it better than Shakira.

3 months ago

If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck.

3 months ago

Throwing a spear at your enemy is a bad gamble. If you miss, you have no spear now and he’s just fine. He’s better than fine; now he has a spear.

3 months ago