Commentary:
Guess my plans! 😂💡🌴 #WinterBodyGlowUp
197 Funny better quotes
A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”
Commentary:
"When someone doesn't get it, just bee yourself and buzz by! 🍯🐝😂"
Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.
Commentary:
"Who knew I just needed a pack of smokes to boost my career? Step aside, LinkedIn! 😂🚬🤝"
I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”
Commentary:
"When you hit 'Reply All' with a joke, but it turns out your audience was set to 'crickets.' 😂📈🔙"
You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.
Commentary:
"When your argument falls on *deaf* ears… because earplugs! 🎧🙉😂"
Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.
Commentary:
"Me-time champion over here! 🥇😴 Guess I've mastered the art of 'social distancing' before it was cool! 😂🙌"
Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.
Commentary:
"Pro tip: Use the 'delay shipping' option on words! 🚚💨🤭"
When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”
Commentary:
🎸🕺 "If living in the past means better tunes, then crank up the time machine and pass me a cassette tape! 🎶😂 #VintageVibes"
You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.
Commentary:
"When my phone gets slobber marks, I'll know who's to blame! 😆📱💋"
Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?
Commentary:
"When life gives you lemons, trade them for a harmonica and start your own blues band! 🎶😂🍋"