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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

My retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding a buried treasure at some point.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be turning you into a poem.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

I would rather walk directly into the ocean than tell people a fun fact about myself.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Most people who have found themselves are amazed to discover that there is nothing there at all.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Boyfriend hasn’t accepted my LinkedIn request yet. He doesn’t want to connect. He doesn’t want to build.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I’m capable of doing a lot of things but listening to people chew their food is not one of them.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

798 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,960

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,960

Updated

45 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Welcome to your 50s… you can now fall asleep sitting up on the couch at any given moment.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I’m the kind of introvert who dodges phone calls but sends paragraphs in texts.

Broadcasted on Threads:

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

Shared recently on Threads:

I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.

Just shared via Threads:

I’ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.

Just shared via WeChat:

Karma not moving fast enough for me. I would hate to handle it myself, Lord.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

798 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,960

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,960

Updated

45 minutes ago

Users Online

3,419

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

The trick of life is to get the sports car before you have to grunt getting in and out of it.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

I’m so single, even my husband won’t match with me on Tinder.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I can admit that I am intrigued by people weirder than I am.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

I wish we were cats so you could just randomly slap co-workers for no reason.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

“So if I had kids, my kids would never…” Spoiler: Yes, they would.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Drilling for oil is well boring.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

Shared recently on Slack:

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Just saw a piece of jewelry made in the 80s described as “vintage,” so I’ll be laying down the rest of the day.

Trending via Telegram:

Absolutely destroyed my bed last night… I cuddled those covers so hard.

Reported on Facebook:

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The unemployed urge to say I love you during a job interview.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

Just landed via WeChat:

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

Trending via Pinterest:

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

Shared recently on Instagram:

What if your dog one day just randomly said “Nobody is going to believe you” and never spoke again.

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