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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

I see why grandmas used to cook dinner at 3 p.m. and sit down the rest of the day.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

You’re never alone. There’s mold.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Sex is great, but have you ever had your alarm go off and then realize you don’t have to get up today?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Elect a clown, expect a circus.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Worst part of being in my 20’s is to be reminded that I’m actually in my mid-40’s.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

I suck at flirting, I end up arguing with them instead.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Was that meant to be a joke or did you just accidentally spill a bunch of words you were carrying around?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. It will never bring you true happiness or fulfillment. Also, it’s a felony.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,914

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked. I’m a family of 8.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Hey babe, wanna come over and fold me like a fitted sheet?

Just shared via X:

Like a fine bourbon, we get better with age. Or, at least, … we feel better about our age after drinking lots of bourbon!

Just landed via WeChat:

A man’s home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary.

Trending via Slack:

When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

When the moon hits your eye like it’s 5:45, that’s November.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I only like when it rains when I’m home.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

When life closes a door, just open it again. It’s a door, that’s how they work.

Going viral on Telegram:

Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,588

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Why be just a part of the solution when you can be the whole problem?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Don’t worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Mothers will invent chores just to be mad you’re not doing them too.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Hey, sorry I cant make it tonight. I am beset on all sides by foes.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

January feels like a schizophrenic episode.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

December you will be good to me (threateningly).

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Facebook:

My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.

Just shared via Facebook:

A general rule of parenting: if you’re having a great day, the day isn’t old enough yet.

Just landed via Slack:

When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

Trending via Twitch:

Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.

Making waves on Snapchat:

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

Just landed via Slack:

Pornhub should do a wrap-up of your year like Spotify does.

Just landed via Slack:

I don’t understand people who forget to eat. I’m already planning lunch while chewing breakfast.

Going viral on Slack:

Every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know.

Just shared via Twitch:

Whoever told you there’s no such thing as a stupid question lied.

Making waves on Twitch:

If a demon ever possessed me, I’d just sit back and say, “Your problem now.”

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