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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Are there any medium rappers? They’re always Big or Lil.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

You ever look at yourself on the self-checkout camera and think, “wow, I better write my will.”

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Stay humble, you are someone’s weird coworker.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

I keep checking my phone like I mean something to somebody. Silly me.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I am awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I really want an emotional support octopus so I can train it to slap people and shoplift.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

829 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,991

Funny Quotes Topics

13,935

Funny Quotes Images

10,991

20 minutes ago

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

Just shared via Messenger:

Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.

Reported on Snapchat:

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

Making waves on Slack:

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

Broadcasted on X:

My card declined at Subway and they started eating the sandwich in front of me.

Breaking via Telegram:

If at first you don’t succeed, the internet will let you know immediately.

Trending via WeChat:

Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.

Just shared via WeChat:

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

Reported on Discord:

Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

Going viral on X:

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime where you are also the murderer. Following the clues of an idiot.

Home » Funny Can Opener Quotes

Funny can opener quotes

New funny can opener quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

Commentary:
"Sex is cool and all, but let's talk about the satisfaction of smoothly opening a can with a can opener that actually works 💪🥫 Who needs romance when you have the perfect tool for your beans and tuna? 😂 #Priorities"

For even more funny can opener quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny can opener quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

829 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,991

Funny Quotes Topics

13,935

Funny Quotes Images

10,991

20 minutes ago

3,448

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Friends with benefits, but it’s just that they make delicious baked goods.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Why can’t more dumb people be shy?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

For security reasons, I highly recommend that you leave one of your children home during the holidays to set elaborate booby traps in case of intruders.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

My workout goals are simple: I’d just like to be able to get up off the floor without looking like a turtle trying to flip itself back over.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money.

Trending via Instagram:

Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

Trending via Snapchat:

Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

The only thing I know about AI is, it desperately wants us to have more fingers.

Making waves on Messenger:

Thinking the bodega owner likes you is exactly the same as thinking the stripper likes you.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

Spotted on Discord:

Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Some people get a bit strange as they get older. Not me. I’ve always been like that!

Live now on Messenger:

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s like 7 years in a row now.

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