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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Whenever I have a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Dating apps aren’t working. I’ll see ya at Home Depot, gentlemen.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

I’ve got nothing against kids, I just don’t understand why you’d want indoor kids.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

First date idea: we search for each other’s criminal history together.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

The main difference between my dog and my kid is my dog responds to her name being called.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Took a bunch of Ibuprofen to keep my posts from being too inflammatory.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

I always ask for a receipt so I can keep them in my purse for 86 years.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Girls be like, “I know a spot,” then sacrifice you under the full moon.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2415 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,577

Funny Quotes Topics

15,246

Funny Quotes Images

12,577

3 minutes ago

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Fun fact: a person’s music taste can actually tell their intelligence level.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Unfortunately for the both of us, I really like you.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I’m not even doomscrolling anymore; I’m just regular scrolling, and everything’s doomed.

Just landed via Messenger:

His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.

Just landed via Slack:

Karma has taught me to never laugh at a stranger being attacked by a seagull.

Live now on Threads:

I said “cool tattoo” to be nice not because I wanted to hear the 45 minute origin story.

Going viral on Facebook:

My kid asked me if I’ve ever experienced hallucinations, which is an odd thing to ask considering I don’t have any kids.

Live now on Twitch:

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’m just here to make you wish I wasn’t.

Home » Funny Cancelling Quotes

Funny cancelling quotes

Funny cancelling quotes bring a hilarious twist to those unexpected change-of-plans moments 😅📅. Whether you’re bailing on a boring meeting or dodging a last-minute invite, these witty lines make saying no feel way more fun 🙅‍♂️😂. Ready to turn your cancellations into comedy gold? Let’s dive into some laughs that’ll have you cancelling with style and a smile! 🎉✌️

New funny cancelling quotes 👇

3 days ago
Share →: Cancelling a date so I can order pizza and go to bed at 8:30 p.m.

Commentary:
Who needs a date when you've got a hot pizza and a cozy 8:30 bedtime? 🍕😴❤️
5 months ago
Share →: Noise cancelling headphones but for when the noises are coming from inside your head.

Commentary:
"Introducing the revolutionary invention: Mind-canceling headphones! For those times when your thoughts are louder than the world around you. 🧠🔕 Just sit back, relax, and enjoy the sound of silence… inside your head! 💭🙉"
Jan 22, 2025
Share →: ‘I have a ripe avocado at home’ is my favorite excuse for cancelling plans.

Commentary:
"Oh, sorry, can't make it tonight. Avocado emergency at home 🥑💁‍♂️ Who knew the power of a perfectly ripe fruit could rival social commitments? #AvocadoOverEverything"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

Commentary:
"Ah, the thrill of the great cancelation! 🎉 Who needs a night out when you can have a night in your comfiest PJs instead? 😂 Canceling plans has never felt so liberating, am I right? 🙌 #AlwaysDownForSomeCancelationExcitement"

For even more funny cancelling quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny cancelling quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2415 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,577

Funny Quotes Topics

15,246

Funny Quotes Images

12,577

3 minutes ago

3,451

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I accidentally take a screenshot of my phone background at least once a week.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I have been touched inappropriately by the sun today.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

I’m surviving motherhood, one teenage meltdown at a time.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today.

Breaking via Pinterest:

If I were Juliet, I would NOT be pleased to find a man standing under my balcony at midnight. Sir, I am in my jim-jams.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

No, I don’t want to read the article first, I want to argue now.

Just landed via Slack:

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Just shared via TikTok:

Interviewer: So why do you want this job? Me: I don’t. I just need money.

Trending via Slack:

A Monday every week is excessive.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

Shared recently on Discord:

You ever notice how when you get home from food shopping, the kids turn into airport security?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

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