Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Future generations will never have to live in unprecedented times, because we’re precedenting the Hell out of everything right now.

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, we are setting some legendary precedents for the history books! Future generations will be like 'Remember that time they precedented the heck out of everything?' 📚👀 Let's hope they appreciate our unprecedented dedication to being precedent-setters!"
6 months ago
Share →: I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if it’s a good laundry day.

Commentary:
"From party animal to laundry aficionado 🌧️🧺 Who knew adulthood would hit harder than a hangover? 💃🏻 #LaundryOverLateNights"
6 months ago
Share →: I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'I love change, as long as everything stays exactly the same' approach. 🤣 Embracing change while seeking comfort in familiarity, a true masterpiece in contradicting oneself! 🔄🤷‍♂️"
6 months ago
Share →: Went out of town, came back and the roomba changed all the locks.

Commentary:
Looks like the Roomba has taken its vacuuming duties to a whole new level – upgrading to security detail while you were away! 🤖🔒 Guess the Roomba is all about keeping your home clean and secure. Just make sure it doesn't start demanding a paycheck next! 😂 #RoombaBossMode
6 months ago
Share →: Sex is like my hair. I didn’t have any yesterday. I didn’t have any today. And unless something drastically changes, I won’t have any tomorrow.

Commentary:
"Sex is like my hair – sparse and elusive! 🙈 Maybe it's playing hard to get? Or perhaps it's just practicing social distancing? Whatever the reason, at this rate, tomorrow's forecast calls for more Netflix and less… well, hair-raising adventures! 💁‍♂️🚫"
6 months ago
Share →: Once you start paying rent, every joke stops being funny.

Commentary:
"Life lesson #101: Paying rent turns humor into horror 😂💸 Say goodbye to jokes and hello to bill collectors!"
6 months ago
Share →: I’m as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don’t need any change.

Commentary:
"Just like a crisp $1 bill, this person is single and confident – no change needed! 💵😄 Who needs a significant other when you've got independence and financial stability, am I right? 💁‍♂️ #SingleAndThriving"
6 months ago
Share →: I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

Commentary:
"Trying to change the world without the source code is like trying to cook without a recipe – disastrous! 🌎💻 #DeveloperDilemma"
6 months ago
Share →: I didn’t like my beard at first… then it grew on me.

Commentary:
"Who knew facial hair could be so persuasive? 😉🧔 Embrace the beard life, it might just tickle your fancy! #BeardGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting.

Commentary:
Ah, the infamous mud season – nature's way of reminding us that we are no match for its power! 😂🌧️ Who knew a simple combination of water, dirt, and poor flooring choices could wreak such havoc on hearts, minds, and interior decor? Here's to hoping our carpets survive this muddy apocalypse! 🙏🏽🤣 #MudSeasonStruggles