Commentary:
Looks like your phone is hitting up all the hot spots while you're catching Zs! 🕺📱 Who knew charging cables were actually just party invitations? Time to join the fun or get a backup battery to keep up with your phone's wild nightlife adventures! 🔋🎉

My phone went from fully charged to 10% while I was sleeping, so I guess it leads a more exciting nightlife than I do.
Commentary:
"Well, hindsight is 20/20, even for the Almighty! 💸 Maybe next time, God will offer a 'Free Will Premium Package' with extra perks and maybe a discount code for good deeds. 😂 #DivinePricingStrategy"

Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.
Commentary:
"Looks like this person is on the slow-burn romance program! 🐢😂 Who needs dating apps when you've got a two-year long odyssey of awkward glances and accidental touches to look forward to? 🙈💘 #TakingItSlowAndSteady"