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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

My theory is that women’s voices contain frequencies that men simply can’t hear.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Stupid cow blocking the road. HOW DAIRY!

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

The older I get, the less surprised I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Name something cuter than a baby in a bucket hat on the beach.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

My retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding a buried treasure at some point.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

You know you’re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2334 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,496

Funny Quotes Topics

15,197

Funny Quotes Images

12,496

Updated

11 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

Why can’t they use deep fake technology for good instead of evil? Like taking Zoom meetings for you, stuff like that.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

Broadcasted on Discord:

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

Just shared via Reddit:

Brushing your teeth at night is a hellish chore. Walking from bed to bathroom feels harder than working in the mines all day. I’m getting pissed just thinking about it.

Just shared via TikTok:

Telling the cop I’ll give him his nose back if he lowers his firearm.

Spotted on WeChat:

More foods should have boats, why should gravy have all the fun?

Trending via Slack:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

Spotted on Threads:

I always feel sleepy, except when I want to sleep.

Seen just now on Threads:

Touched a tree and accidentally absorbed 400 years of wisdom and 2 squirrel secrets.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2334 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,496

Funny Quotes Topics

15,197

Funny Quotes Images

12,496

Updated

11 minutes ago

Users Online

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Can we not just call it Zealand now?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

I’m looking forward to tomorrow. It’ll be much like today, but different enough to confuse me.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I’ve noticed the best way to get somebody’s attention is to not want it anymore.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

He called me delusional, but I think he meant delicious.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

Making waves on YouTube:

I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

Spotted on Discord:

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

Making waves on WeChat:

Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

Trending via YouTube:

My friends have canceled our dinner plans two nights in a row. I’m starting to think they don’t like dinner.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

Spotted on Threads:

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

Reported on Pinterest:

For security reasons, I highly recommend that you leave one of your children home during the holidays to set elaborate booby traps in case of intruders.

Going viral on Reddit:

I have a sundress and no man to bend me over in it, sad day.

Spotted on X:

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

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