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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional women’s sport.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Once when I was exercising, I realized that I was allergic to it. I was out of breath, sweating and my heart was racing.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Don’t understand why electricians aren’t called power rangers, but okay.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as “elderly.”

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

827 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,989

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,989

38 minutes ago

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

I just need a little time to warm up to you, and then I’ll be super fun, I promise—1-2 years at most.

Making waves on Pinterest:

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

Breaking via Messenger:

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

Shared recently on Slack:

Just blocked everyone who is not in my gang so if you’re reading this, we’re robbing a bank in 12 minutes.

Shared recently on Discord:

I drink so much coffee, people feel jittery when they see a picture of me.

Just landed via WeChat:

Have you tried complaining about it?

Live now on LinkedIn:

My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

Home » Funny Comedy Quotes

315 Funny comedy quotes

Funny comedy quotes are the perfect way to celebrate the lighter side of life! 🎤😂 Whether it’s a quick punchline, a witty observation, or a ridiculous scenario, these quotes remind us that laughter is the best form of comedy. Get ready to laugh out loud — because comedy is all about finding humor in the everyday! 😆🎭✨

New funny comedy quotes 👇

4 days ago
Share →: The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

Commentary:
Commuting to "The Land of Responsibility" wasn't on my bucket list 🏢🚶‍♂️😅
4 days ago
Share →: Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

Commentary:
Planning my apocalypse outfit: do camo and sequins clash? 🌍✨🪖
4 days ago
Share →: There should be bloopers at the end of horror movies, so it relaxes you before bedtime.

Commentary:
Rolling credits and giggles, because even ghosts need a blooper reel 😂👻🎬
5 days ago
Share →: Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

Commentary:
That's one way to handle tough conversations—From couch potato to confrontation! 😂🛋️👻
5 days ago
Share →: Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

Commentary:
Red or white, as long as it's not radioactive! 🍷😅
5 days ago
Share →: I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.

Commentary:
Silent but not-so-deadly detective work in progress! 😆🕵️‍♂️💨
6 days ago
Share →: They’re called grown-ups because they groan every time they get up.

Commentary:
When I get up, my body sounds like a bowl of Rice Krispies! 🍚😆🔊
6 days ago
Share →: When you’re sad, find two equally sad friends and form a cryangle.

Commentary:
Forming a cryangle: where misery loves company and geometry gets emotional 😂🔺💧
7 days ago
Share →: If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

Commentary:
Trying to use an umbrella as a parachute? Better hope for a soft landing on a cloud, or maybe some conveniently placed cartoon bushes! ☂️🤣🪂
1 week ago
Share →: Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

Commentary:
Guess I'll save my greatest love for karaoke night! 🎤😂

For even more funny comedy quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny comedy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

827 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,989

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,989

38 minutes ago

3,450

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

I am so out of shape right now, that if someone yelled “run for your life!” I’d be like “ya’ll go ahead, I’m meetin’ Jesus today!”

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Relationship status: I’m the only one wearing my hoodies.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Glory hole but for forehead kisses.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Instagram is literally just screenshots of Twitter.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.

Shared recently on Reddit:

It’s strange that watching paint dry is considered boring but going to an art gallery is considered interesting. That’s just watching paint that’s already dry.

Making waves on TikTok:

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I get all the cardio I need by running out of patience.

Just landed via Instagram:

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

Making waves on Reddit:

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

Spotted on Threads:

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

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