Commentary:
Planning my apocalypse outfit: do camo and sequins clash? 🌍✨🪖
323 Funny comedy quotes
There should be bloopers at the end of horror movies, so it relaxes you before bedtime.
Commentary:
Rolling credits and giggles, because even ghosts need a blooper reel 😂👻🎬
Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.
Commentary:
That's one way to handle tough conversations—From couch potato to confrontation! 😂🛋️👻
Which wine pairs best with WWIII?
Commentary:
Red or white, as long as it's not radioactive! 🍷😅
I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.
Commentary:
Silent but not-so-deadly detective work in progress! 😆🕵️♂️💨
They’re called grown-ups because they groan every time they get up.
Commentary:
When I get up, my body sounds like a bowl of Rice Krispies! 🍚😆🔊
When you’re sad, find two equally sad friends and form a cryangle.
Commentary:
Forming a cryangle: where misery loves company and geometry gets emotional 😂🔺💧
If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.
Commentary:
Trying to use an umbrella as a parachute? Better hope for a soft landing on a cloud, or maybe some conveniently placed cartoon bushes! ☂️🤣🪂
Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.
Commentary:
Guess I'll save my greatest love for karaoke night! 🎤😂
Mister Sandman, bring me a meme. Make it the dumbest shit that I’ve ever seen.
Commentary:
Dreaming of memes so bad, even the Sandman shakes his head 😂😴💤