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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

I tried to take a picture of myself in the shower, but my camera kept fogging up. I have selfie steam issues.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

A.I. should be forced to wait tables before it’s allowed to make art.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

If you were a dinosaur, you’d be a Gorgeousaurus.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Smile like a monkey with a new banana.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

“You’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

821 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,983

Funny Quotes Topics

13,927

Funny Quotes Images

10,983

54 minutes ago

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

Breaking via X:

My friends have canceled our dinner plans two nights in a row. I’m starting to think they don’t like dinner.

Shared recently on Facebook:

When my sister drives, I am NOT passenger princess, I am a survivor.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’m actually quite nice. If I had friends, they’d all confirm that.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

Breaking via Discord:

Back in my day, we had to walk to the TV to change the channel. Uphill, both ways!

Freshly posted on Threads:

The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

Shared recently on Discord:

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

“You live and you learn!” Bro, I don’t want to do either of those things.

Just shared via Telegram:

Every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know.

Home » Funny Conscience Quotes

Funny conscience quotes

New funny conscience quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: Self-cleaning conscience.

Commentary:
Ah, the elusive self-cleaning conscience – the ultimate cheat code for absolving guilt! 🧼✨ No need for any mental scrubbing or moral laundry – just set it on autopilot and voilà, a sparkling clean conscience ready for another round of mischief! 😉🧹 #ConscienceGoals

For even more funny conscience quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny conscience quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

821 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,983

Funny Quotes Topics

13,927

Funny Quotes Images

10,983

54 minutes ago

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

It sucks that crazy people ruined wearing tinfoil hats for those of us that just did it for fashion purposes.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

I’m so glad I cleaned the house so the kids have a clean canvas to drop their stuff everywhere.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

If a tree falls in a forest and doesn’t make a sound, maybe that’s where your kid should be practicing the piano.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Men with bibles names be the worst type of people.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

It’s time to stare blankly at my wall for hours straight and think about where I went wrong with my life.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Having a conversation with me is kind of like taking the scenic route.

Making waves on Telegram:

Watching true crime documentaries so I can learn from their mistakes.

Making waves on TikTok:

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

Just landed via Messenger:

I once broke up with a guy because he ate half my french fries, and when I get really lonely, I still think about those french fries.

Live now on Telegram:

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

Just landed via Messenger:

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

Just shared via Discord:

If only my bank balance was as high as my daily calorie intake.

Just landed via Slack:

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

Just shared via WeChat:

Monday has a personal vendetta against my happiness.

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