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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

In a relationship with my heated car seat.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

A Monday every week is excessive.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

If you accept a knighthood, you should have to participate in at least one jousting tournament a year. The tournaments should be televised.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

God bless the student essay that is so confused and rambling, there is zero chance that they used AI.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Flirting when bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Thinking after a concert that the artist liked your city/show the most is like thinking the bartender flirted with you.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Excuse me, can you direct me to the nonsense?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,328

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family.

Trending via Threads:

I’m a credit card, cause I’m always being used or denied.

Freshly posted on Threads:

“Made with love,” means I licked the spoon and kept using it.

Just landed via Slack:

We decided to have money instead of children.

Trending via Threads:

Apparently, all my new nephew wants to do is eat and sleep, which means he’s already a lot like me.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I can’t do the splits. But so far there has never been a situation where I’ve thought, “I should do the splits now.”

Just landed via Facebook:

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I travel like I’m rich, then eat like I’m broke.

Seen just now on TikTok:

If you need me, I’ll be in the shower pretending I can sing.

Trending via Pinterest:

The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

Funny corporate job quotes

Funny corporate job quotes bring a hilarious twist to the daily grind 😂💼 Whether you’re dodging endless meetings or mastering the art of the coffee break ☕️, these witty sayings capture the quirks of office life perfectly! Ready to laugh through those spreadsheets and emails? Dive into the lighter side of corporate hustle and share a smile with your coworkers! 😄🚀

New funny corporate job quotes 👇

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

4 days ago

corporate, corporate job, day, email, fake, fake job, home, humor, i, job, jobs, laptop, lazy, lazy work, life, office, office humor, open, outlook, paid, remote, remote work, responding, whatever, where, work, work from home, work life
Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

2 weeks ago

20, appreciation, corporate, corporate job, email, humor, job, killer, money, salary, should, someone, tips, work, work humor, workplace, worst

All funny corporate job quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.

33 shares on Instagram this month:

And today, just like every day, I learned something new . . . but I’m old, so I forgot what it was already.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

Drinking a beer alone with terrible posture.

76 shares on Instagram this month:

My kids want to know what’s for dinner, like they’re going to be happy with the answer.

26 shares on Threads this month:

You ever tried driving the speed limit and thought, “They can’t be serious.”

50 shares on Messenger this month:

Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

42 shares on X this month:

Being a procrastinator and a perfectionist means you’re stressed about work … that you haven’t even started yet.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

So apparently they don’t count as sit-ups if you’re just trying to get out of bed.

32 shares on X this month:

Checking my iced coffee rewards points like it’s my 401k.

25 shares on Instagram this month:

Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Why have abs when you can have kebabs?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed, and the other half don’t know how to do math.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If you respond to my sarcasm with better sarcasm, then I might just catch feelings.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If you can’t say anything nice, say something funny.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Skin coloured leggings should be illegal.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The true horror genre: my old Facebook statuses.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,737

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

My problem with Christmas shopping is that I keep seeing things that I like… for me.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

If you are into coding, pivot to hunting and gathering.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

If you see me out running, you should run too, because something is definitely chasing me.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

I’m as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don’t need any change.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

The introvert urge to leave a social event without saying goodbye to anyone.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Men used to send love letters in the middle of wars, and now they think reassurance is too much effort.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Whispering to paramedic before I pass out: save me, but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

If they cancel the Simpsons, we will no longer be able to see into the future.

Just shared via Messenger:

I didn’t forget about you; my algorithm did.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’m sorry for inventing the universe.

Trending via Snapchat:

Anyone got any good sins for someone just getting into sinning?

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

Live now on YouTube:

Woke up, twerked in the mirror and laid back down.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.

Seen just now on Facebook:

So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I use karate strictly as a last resort, after I’ve exhausted fleeing and screaming.

Just shared via Telegram:

Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

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