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28 Funny crime quotes

Is it ‘My wife and I’ or ‘Me and my wife’? Anyway, we just robbed a liquor store.

3 months ago

If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

3 months ago

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime where you are also the murderer. Following the clues of an idiot.

3 months ago

My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

3 months ago

If I’m ever murdered, I don’t want two women with a podcast solving the case in their spare time.

3 months ago

Could you even imagine the crime rate if no one drank coffee or ate bacon.

3 months ago

Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

3 months ago

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

3 months ago