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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Googling what ASAP means, and having a panic attack.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

If I were Juliet, I would NOT be pleased to find a man standing under my balcony at midnight. Sir, I am in my jim-jams.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Texting a man first feels like I’m on my hands and knees begging him to talk to me.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

I don’t want to brag but I walked into a room and remembered why I walked in.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

788 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,950

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,950

Updated

54 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

Spotted on Reddit:

I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.

Trending via WhatsApp:

If anything goes wrong today, just dramatically whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled,” and walk away.

Going viral on X:

Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

Trending via WeChat:

Anyone got any good sins for someone just getting into sinning?

Reported on Threads:

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

Spotted on Discord:

Your hoodie strings are uneven. Go home and get your shit together!

Trending via Reddit:

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Just did my best horse impression and the doctor still won’t give me ketamine.

Shared recently on Twitch:

“I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” Ok, why are you helping the devil?

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

788 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,950

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,950

Updated

54 minutes ago

Users Online

3,420

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

All I’m saying is that I’m closer to being a millionaire than Jeff Bezos is.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Even when I look up the slang of today’s kids, I still have no idea what it means.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

The good old days, when you didn’t have to charge your watch and it didn’t constantly remind you how fat you were.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Daniel Craig leaving Bond to become Benoit Blanc is one of the best things to ever happen.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Crying while wearing a backpack has unlocked a new level of humiliation I did not know was possible.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

There are people on TV who are not ruined by fame, but who ruin fame.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

Telling your parents about your problems is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline.

Just shared via TikTok:

Trying to explain that I’m fascinated by Japan for wood joinery reasons and not nerd or pervert reasons.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

A gentleman always straightens out the vending machine after shaking it.

Just landed via Facebook:

Spent 20 minutes training ChatGPT to write the perfect anniversary note for my wife, so don’t try to tell me I’m not romantic.

Spotted on TikTok:

Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.

Trending via Facebook:

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

Making waves on Telegram:

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

Trending via YouTube:

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Dad Hack: Get your teen’s attention instantly by pre-heating the oven.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

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