Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: I’ve decided to cut my carbs… into smaller pieces before eating them.

Commentary:
"Talk about precision cutting! 🍞✂️ Who knew carbs could be so high maintenance? One bite-sized piece at a time, that's the way to go! 😂 #CarbSlicingPro"
6 months ago
Share →: My robot vacuum and I are cut from the same cloth. When we see a line of dirt on the kitchen floor, we just spin around and go the other way.

Commentary:
Ah, the dynamic duo of the spin masters! 🤖💃 No need to tackle obstacles head-on when you can pirouette away from them in style! Who knew cleaning could be so chic and effortless? 💁‍♂️🌀 #DirtDodgers #CleaningComedy
6 months ago
Share →: I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the classic magic trick of squeezing into those post-Thanksgiving jeans 🦃✨ Who needs a sawing-in-half illusion when you can experience the real magic of stretch denim! 🎩👖😄"
6 months ago
Share →: Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

Commentary:
"Seriously, chefs must think they're in a vegetable race or something! 🏃‍♂️ Slow down, Chef Speedy Gonzalez! Enjoy the onion-chopping journey, don't just sprint to the finish line! ⏳😄 #ChopChill"
6 months ago
Share →: It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

Commentary:
"Talk about taking the stairs to a whole new level! 🚶‍♂️🔋 Escalator: 1, Us: 0 ⚡️ Just when you thought you could take a break… 😅 #PowerCutProblems"
6 months ago
Share →: Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

Commentary:
"Vote for me, I'll cut the alphabet in half – because who needs the hassle of Z when you can just stop at Y? 🤣✂️ #LessAlphabetMoreFun"
6 months ago
Share →: I’m trying to cut back on how much sense I make.

Commentary:
"Who needs sense when you've got charm and pizzazz? 🤪✨ Let's make confusion fashionable, darling! 🍸💃"
6 months ago
Share →: I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?

Commentary:
Oh no, the struggle is real! 🤦‍♂️ Who knew that well-groomed hands could lead to such slippery situations? 🚿🥭 Looks like you'll have to rely on your wits to open that mango-scented treasure! 💅#WellGroomedWoes
6 months ago
Share →: “Cut my life into pieces” screamed the earthworm and threw itself in front of my spade.

Commentary:
Looks like the earthworm took the phrase "cutting drama" a little too literally! 🪱😆 Seems like it wanted to audition for a role in a Shakespearean tragedy instead of being a humble gardener's assistant! #DramaticEarthworm
6 months ago
Share →: Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.

Commentary:
"Office jobs: where paper cuts are considered extreme sports 📄💥 Don't underestimate the danger lurking in the seemingly innocent world of staplers and binders! 💼😆"