24 Funny danger quotes

• This entire “presidency” is like being tied to a chair and watching a toddler play with a loaded pistol.

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  17 hours ago

  being, chair, danger, frustration, humor, pistol, play, political, political humor, presidency, toddler, watching

• The most dangerous part of your 50s is those first few steps after prolonged sitting.

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  24 hours ago

  50s, after, aging, danger, dangerous, humor, most, movement, sitting, step, steps

• The day after Christmas is a dangerous morning to be a microwave.

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  3 weeks ago

  after, appliance, Christmas, cooking, danger, dangerous, day, holiday, microwave, morning

• Showing your emotions to the wrong people is like bleeding next to a shark.

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  1 month ago

  bleeding, danger, emotion, emotions, feelings, metaphor, next, people, shark, showing, trust, vulnerability, wrong

• Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

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  2 months ago

  am, boredom, creativity, crush, danger, dangerous, funny thought, having, humor, i, imagination, invent, loneliness, something, think, thought

• Death doesn’t scare me, but a group of dogs fighting while I’m walking alone on the street does.

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  2 months ago

  alone, animal, animal attack, animals, attack, danger, death, dogs, fear, fighting, group, humor, me, pet, scare, street, walking, while

• Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

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  2 months ago

  careful, confrontation, danger, draw, fast, friend, humor, i, just, sarcasm, Shakira, threat, weapon, word

• Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

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  2 months ago

  beautiful, beauty, close, danger, dangerous, distance, dressed, metaphor, nature, people, personality, storm, storms, sunset, unpredictability

• The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

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  2 months ago

  assessment, child, danger, function, humor, middle, middle name, much, name, only, parenting

• Coffee: Because without it I would be a serious danger to society.

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  2 months ago

  addiction, caffeine, coffee, danger, humor, i, serious, seriousness, society

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