24 funny danger quotes - Wordgag ツ

The day after Christmas is a dangerous morning to be a microwave.

Feb 3, 2026

Showing your emotions to the wrong people is like bleeding next to a shark.

Feb 3, 2026

Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

Feb 1, 2026

Death doesn’t scare me, but a group of dogs fighting while I’m walking alone on the street does.

Feb 1, 2026

Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

Jan 31, 2026

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

Jan 31, 2026

The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

Jan 30, 2026

Coffee: Because without it I would be a serious danger to society.

Jan 28, 2026

If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

Jan 28, 2026

Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

Jan 23, 2026

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

Jan 23, 2026

The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

Jan 23, 2026

Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

Jan 22, 2026

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

Jan 21, 2026

The Masters would be a lot more interesting if there were starving alligators roaming throughout the golf course.

Jan 21, 2026

My issue with Jeopardy is that you never get the sense that the contestants are in any real danger.

Jan 21, 2026

I’m like a candle: I’m cute, I smell nice, and there’s a pretty good chance I’ll set your curtains on fire if left unattended.

Jan 21, 2026

More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

Jan 21, 2026

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

Jan 21, 2026

Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

Jan 21, 2026

Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.

Jan 20, 2026

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

Jan 20, 2026

This entire “presidency” is like being tied to a chair and watching a toddler play with a loaded pistol.

Jan 19, 2026

The most dangerous part of your 50s is those first few steps after prolonged sitting.

Jan 19, 2026