166 Funny date quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

  Commentary:
  "Nothing says 'getting to know you' like comparing polyps! 🎈💑 Who needs candlelit dinners when you can have colonoscopies together? 🕯️💩 #RelationshipGoals 😂"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

  Commentary:
  Here's a rom-com idea truly fit for a monster movie makeover: "Gozilla +1"! 🦖👔👰 Picture this – Godzilla receives a wedding invite and decides to brave the human world, but faces the ultimate dilemma: finding a plus one willing to brave the chaos of a monster's love life! Will Godzilla's scales find a spark amidst the tulle and tears, or will the wedding bells just ring for party-crashing? Tune in for a tale of

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  5 months ago

  Share →: And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the eternal 'shaved legs dilemma'! 🦵💭 It's like a commitment test for your razor and your patience. 😅 Maybe we should start a 'Shave-On-Demand' service for such occasions! 💁‍♀️✨"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

  Commentary:
  Looks like they really know how to stir things up on a first date 😂🍴 Who knew gravy could be the key to romance? #GravyGoals

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I am cool with January lasting forever because rent is due February 1.

  Commentary:
  "January, the month that never ends – perfect for those of us who need an extended deadline for paying rent on time! 😅💸 Who knew endless winter could be so financially convenient? ❄️💰 #JanuaryCheapskate"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: “I have a date with destiny.” Yeah well, I’m in a long-term relationship with the consequences of my actions.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, Destiny better watch out because Consequences seems like the serious type! 👀💔 Let's hope they don't end up in a messy love triangle with Regret 😅💔 #RelationshipDrama"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs speed dating when you can merrily hop from plate to plate in the ultimate foodie quest for love? 🍝🍔🍣 Swipe right for the perfect dish, or better yet, a slice of every delicious possibility! Bon appétit and bon amour! 💕🍴"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

  Commentary:
  Oh, this person has clearly mastered the art of awkward encounters! 🙈 It's like a real-life sitcom episode playing out at random restaurants. 😂 Next level humor mixed with a sprinkle of discomfort, served with a side of expert timing! 🍽️🤣

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew hiking could be so controversial 😂⛰️ Don't worry, there are plenty of other dictators out there with alternative date plans! 🏞️ #SwipeLeft"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

  Commentary:
  Looks like someone is not a fan of the month of love feeling shortchanged! 😆 Who needs a longer February when we can have more opportunities for chocolates and flowers, am I right? 🍫💐 But seriously, poor February getting picked on like this! 🗓️ #JusticeForFebruary

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