Commentary:
"Looks like you didn't just drop the mic, you dropped a whole speechless bomb! 💣🙊 Who knew your charm could have such lasting effects? 😂 #SpeechlessForever"
231 Funny date quotes
November moving quicker than two lesbians who met three days ago.
Commentary:
"November is flying by faster than a pair of jet-propelled lesbians on a rollercoaster romance 🎢💨💗 #WhirlwindRomance"
At the art museum walking slower and observing more than anyone else.
Commentary:
🎨 Taking a leisurely stroll through the art museum like a wise owl in a world of busy bees 🦉🚶♂️ Who knew that admiring masterpieces could also be a test of patience and grace? #SlowAndSteadyWinsTheArtGaze 🐌🖼️
If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.
Commentary:
"Talk about fast-forwarding to the holiday drama! 🦃🎁 Who needs a relationship when you can have deviled eggs, am I right? 😂 #ThanksgivingFeastsAndBreakupBeasts"
She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.
Commentary:
"Ah, the true magician in the kitchen! 🎩✨ Who needs a wand when you've got a sandwich maker that can work wonders? 🥪😄 #SandwichMagic"
Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. 30 minutes was not the right answer.
Commentary:
"Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. I said '30 minutes' and realized that wasn't the right answer… unless they mean how long it takes me to pick one out! 🍷⏳😂"
Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.
Commentary:
"Hey boy, are you my washing machine? 🧺⏰ Because just like it, you seem to have absolutely no concept of how long 10 minutes last! 😆⏳"
The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.
Commentary:
"Looks like my phone has commitment issues with its facial recognition 📱🙄 Maybe I should take it out on a date and see if it changes its tune! 💔😂"
An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?
Commentary:
🍔🔥 "Introducing the Tinder for foodies – where finding your perfect dining match is just a swipe away! 📲💑 Who needs words when you can let the food do the talking? Bon appétit, and swipe responsibly!" 🍣🍕
You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.
Commentary:
"Ah, the mysterious allure of the white shirt strikes again! 🍝 Who knew it had the power to summon a spaghetti craving in everyone around you? Maybe it's just a clever ploy to secure more dinner invitations! 💁♂️🍝 #FashionableFoodie"