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6 months ago
Share →: “We told you to stop at 2012!” – The Mayans

Commentary:
Looks like the Mayans left us a note in their calendar like, "Seriously guys, don't go beyond 2012 – we've got things planned after that!" 📆🙈 Oh well, we clearly missed the memo! Whoops! 😅🌎 #MayaOops
6 months ago
Share →: I have a date and nothing to wear. Or as Nietzsche said: If you stare into a closet long enough, the closet stares back at you.

Commentary:
Looks like your closet is ready for a philosophical debate! 🤔 Maybe it's time to break out that "existential crisis chic" outfit you've been saving for the perfect occasion! Who knew Nietzsche had insight into both philosophy and fashion dilemmas? Time to show that closet who's boss and strut your stuff on that date! 💃🕺
6 months ago
Share →: Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

Commentary:
"Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd. 🥂💡 Always looking at things with a spreadsheet mindset – cheers to starting the year off right!"
6 months ago
Share →: Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

Commentary:
"Oh, I see the struggle of finding the perfect companion continues 😜🕰️ Maybe they're lost in a time warp or hiding in a parallel universe! Keep searching, you never know where your 'missing piece' might be hiding! 🌌🔍"
6 months ago
Share →: This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

Commentary:
"Looks like this bouncer is about to learn that love not only conquers all, but also protects you from getting your butt kicked! 💪🚨 Better watch out, Mr. Bouncer, this fearless duo is not to be messed with! 😜👊 #CoupleGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: Nice thing about dating a doctor is if you wanna stop seeing them, you can just eat an apple.

Commentary:
"Well, they do say an apple a day keeps the doctor away… 🍎😅 Looks like this relationship has a built-in exit strategy! Just make sure to save those apples for the right moment! 😉"
6 months ago
Share →: Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

Commentary:
"Ah, the infamous romantic interview – where awkward small talk meets the delicate dance of not spilling pasta sauce on yourself 😅🍝 Who knew finding love could feel like a job interview in fancy clothes? #DressToImpressOrElse"
6 months ago
Share →: Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

Commentary:
"Applying for jobs is like getting dolled up for a blind date with a mysterious stranger who promises to be your dream partner! 🎭💼 You're all smiles and enthusiasm, hoping for a wonderful connection – but let's be real, sometimes you end up with a total mismatch! 😅🤝 #JobHuntDrama"
6 months ago
Share →: You know those couples who share their food? I mean, what kind of people are they? Aren’t they hungry?

Commentary:
"Those food-sharing couples must have unlocked the ultimate level of love where giving away a fry is a grand gesture! 🍟❤️ Either that or they have mastered the art of snacking without getting hangry! 😂 #RelationshipGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: The date didn’t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards.

Commentary:
"Talk about a post-date evaluation! 📝😬 Guess she wanted to make sure you had all the data for your 'Improving Your Dating Skills' report! 📉🤣 #LessonLearned"