Funny quotes doctor

46 Funny doctor quotes

Funny doctor quotes bring a humorous touch to the often serious world of healthcare! 🩺😂 From witty observations about medical visits to playful jabs at doctor-patient interactions, these quotes highlight the lighter side of medicine. Enjoy a laugh and appreciate the fun side of your next doctor’s appointment! 😄💉

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

2 weeks ago

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

3 weeks ago

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

1 month ago

Doctors don’t really need to hit you with that rubber hammer, it’s just how they release a lil tension through the day.

1 month ago

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

1 month ago

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

1 month ago

In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency notify”, I put “Doctor.”

1 month ago

Ask your doctor if it’s right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.

1 month ago

Doctors who give out lollipops really treat their patients.

2 months ago

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

2 months ago

Just did my best horse impression and the doctor still won’t give me ketamine.

2 months ago

An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

2 months ago

Welcome to your 50’s. Your doctor and pharmacist are both in your contacts now.

3 months ago

She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

3 months ago

Doctors are always giving me Ibuprofen. Man, give me something I can sell.

3 months ago

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

3 months ago

I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

3 months ago

The more I insisted marshmallows were vegetables, the angrier my doctor got.

3 months ago

I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the “at your age…”

3 months ago

The best part about filling out doctor appointment forms online is when you get there and they say “hello, please fill out these forms!”

3 months ago

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

3 months ago

I’ve just told my doctor I have all the Monkey Pox symptoms. He asked me to swing by tomorrow.

3 months ago

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

3 months ago

My doctor no longer prescribes me Viagra. He just left me hanging.

3 months ago

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

3 months ago

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but my doctor says I have an irreversible terminal condition called aging.

3 months ago

I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.

3 months ago

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

3 months ago

The good news: once you get a PhD, friends and family will refer to you as doctor. The bad news: They will only do it when you’re wrong.

3 months ago

My doctor told me to try a milk bath. Adding the Cinnamon Toast Crunch was my idea.

3 months ago