Just did my best horse impression and the doctor still won’t give me ketamine.

Just did my best horse impression and the doctor still won’t give me ketamine.

Commentary:
"Looks like the doctor wasn't horsin' around when it comes to prescribing ketamine! 🐴💉 Maybe try neighing for a second opinion? 🤣 #DoctorIsNotBuyingIt"

An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

Commentary:
"Who needs apples when you've got silliness to ward off the doctor and boredom alike? 🍎🤪 Keep the giggles coming to stay in tip-top shape! 😄 #SillyIsTheNewHealthy"

Welcome to your 50’s. Your doctor and pharmacist are both in your contacts now.

Welcome to your 50’s. Your doctor and pharmacist are both in your contacts now.

Commentary:
"Ah, the fabulous 50s! Where your doctor and pharmacist become your new BFFs 🤝💊 Who needs coffee dates when you can chat about prescriptions and blood pressure readings instead? 😜 #NewDecadeNewContacts"

She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm.  I hate doctor appointments.

She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

Commentary:
Looks like she really knows how to make a trip to the doctor's office unforgettable! 💸🍔🔪😂 But hey, at least your wallet got a workout along with your arm! 💪💉 #MedicalDrama

Doctors are always giving me Ibuprofen. Man, give me something I can sell.

Doctors are always giving me Ibuprofen. Man, give me something I can sell.

Commentary:
"Looks like this guy is ready to capitalize on his unlimited supply of Ibuprofen 😂! Maybe he's onto something… Ibuprofen stand, anyone? 💊💰 #EntrepreneurialGoals"

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Commentary:
Looks like someone just received a terminal prognosis of eternal wedded bliss! 💍💉 Better stock up on some "Yes, dear" pills and prepare for a lifetime of "happily ever after" prescriptions! 😉 #PrescribedForLove

I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

Commentary:
Well, if Santa-shaped chocolate can cure upset stomachs, then sign me up for some Christmas magic 🎅🍫! Who needs medicine when you've got jolly ol' Saint Nick in chocolate form? 😂 #FestiveRemedies

The more I insisted marshmallows were vegetables, the angrier my doctor got.

The more I insisted marshmallows were vegetables, the angrier my doctor got.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's trying to turn their s'mores into a balanced meal! 🍢🥦 Dr. Veggie must be steaming like a pot of boiling water right now! 🔥😂 #MarshmallowMathematics"

I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the “at your age…”

I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the “at your age…”

Commentary:
Oh, the dreaded "at your age…" It's the medical equivalent of being handed the senior citizen discount card without warning. 🧓👴 But hey, at least now you can milk it for all it's worth – demand extra soft pillows and all the Jell-O you can eat! 💊😂 #AGEisJustaNumber

The best part about filling out doctor appointment forms online is when you get there and they say “hello, please fill out these forms!”

The best part about filling out doctor appointment forms online is when you get there and they say “hello, please fill out these forms!”

Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of online form-filling – like sending a surprise party invite to yourself! 🎉😅 It's almost like a digital game, except instead of winning prizes, you win the satisfaction of doing the same task twice. 🥳👩‍⚕️ #FunTimesAtTheDoctorsOffice"