When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

Commentary:
🤳🏅 "Forget the long jump or swimming, the gold medal event we've all been waiting for is 'Dropping Your Phone and Almost Catching It'! Better start practicing those reflexes, folks. 📱🤹‍♂️ Watch out, world, here comes the master of near misses!"

I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

Commentary:
"I guess you could say handling an avocado pit isn't exactly a seamless process, let alone delivering a baby! 🥑👶 Who knew that one slippery pit could be the ultimate preparation for the miracle of life? 😅 #AvocadoSkills"

Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: “Come on in.”

Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: “Come on in.”

Commentary:
"Three words that strike fear into the hearts of parents everywhere: 'Come on in.' 🤦‍♂️🤷‍♀️ Because we all know that's where chaos and mess await! 😂 #ParentingStruggles"

I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.

I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.

Commentary:
😂👨‍⚕️ "Next stop: Therapy Land! Watch out, ladies, I know all the best spots… for self-discovery and personal growth! Buckle up for a one-way ride to emotional enlightenment! 🚗💨"