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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

The best way to enjoy your tea while the world is falling apart around you is to remember that the world has always been falling apart around you.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Spending 5 minutes looking up every word I want to use in a sentence to make sure I can define it in case they ask.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Normalize responding to work emails with: “What the hell are you talking about?”

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

6 hours ago

Users Online

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

Seen just now on Threads:

“Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” is now 40 years old. If you have an earworm now, you also have back pain.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

Just landed via Snapchat:

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

Going viral on Facebook:

I don’t know why we traded horses for cars. Your car won’t stop in front of a river and be like, “no way dumbass, we aren’t going to make that.”

Just shared via WeChat:

I don’t wanna meet your family, bring my plate to the car.

Trending via Facebook:

That’s not my girl bestie, that’s my platonic wife.

Live now on Threads:

My favorite part of leaving the house is looking forward to going home.

Freshly posted on X:

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

Just landed via YouTube:

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

Home » Funny Drunken Shopping Quotes

Funny drunken shopping quotes

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All funny drunken shopping quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

6 hours ago

Users Online

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Asked a German girl for her number, and I’m still waiting for the rest of the digits. So far, all I have is “nine.”

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

I don’t call them exes, I call them whys.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Always remember, if you ever need me, I’m just several phone calls and unread texts away.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

Reported on Pinterest:

Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

Seen just now on X:

People be like “bear with me” and they don’t even have a bear with them.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Instead of working on making myself a better person, I am going to purchase a cool new jacket.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Look, 80’s kids went from Inspector Gadget to Terminator so we have a lot of mixed feelings about technology.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

Reported on Pinterest:

I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.

Seen just now on Telegram:

A narcissist wants the authority of a king while having the accountability of a toddler.

Spotted on YouTube:

Called in, “Hey, macarena!” this morning.

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