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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

If you find me offensive, then I suggest you quit finding me.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

The role I play at family gatherings is that of the cousin that doesn’t show up anymore.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless, and to humor the disturbed.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Still hard to believe that access to infinite information made us dumber.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Writing is so fun because you get to google things like “woman names”.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,392

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Every word wishes it could sound as fun as falafel.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Who are these people that buy unsalted butter on purpose?

Just landed via Discord:

May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

Shared recently on Reddit:

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?

Seen just now on TikTok:

If a vegetarian who eats fish is a pescatarian, is a vegetarian who eats chicken called a poultrygeist?

Shared recently on Facebook:

Wife asked if I could stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe…

Making waves on Threads:

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

Trending via Instagram:

If I ever look at my phone in the middle of a conversation with you, I’m not reading a text; I’m just looking up the definition of a word I just used a bit too confidently.

Funny drunken shopping quotes

New funny drunken shopping quotes 👇

I hate it when some random company refers to me as their “customer.” I’m like, look, we had one night of drunken shopping, we are not in a relationship.

0

2 months ago

company, connection, customer, drunken, drunken shopping, hate, humor, i, me, night, one-night stand, random, relationship, shopping, stand

Someone from 🇹🇳 has recently copied this quote.

113 shares on LinkedIn this month.

All funny drunken shopping quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Telegram this month:

I think it’s extremely important, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

40 shares on Instagram this month:

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

14 shares on Instagram this month:

God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

72 shares on TikTok this month:

Boss: You’ll never find another job like this. Me: That’d be great.

86 shares on Twitch this month:

Your honor, I was in my villain era at the time of those incidents.

19 shares on Messenger this month:

Bit strange that the same culture is responsible for both kissing and onion soup. You’d think they’d be incompatible.

50 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t really do one-night stands, but I will do, like, 3-8 months of a semi-toxic, undefined relationship that wastes my time and ruins my life.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

We used to burn CDs like we were running an underground record label.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

I see 1000 girls. I know 100 girls. I talk to 10 girls. I love 1 girl. And she doesn’t love me back.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Ginger ale is the champagne of soda.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

The sexual orientation where you’re attracted to both and men and women but they’re not attracted to you is called Bi-yourself.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

When physical labor became optional, we invented the gym. We’ll need the same thing for the mind.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

Can’t wait for my husband to see what he bought everyone for Christmas.

Spotted on Facebook:

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

Just landed via Messenger:

Life is so funny because you think you look good today and a year later you look even better.

Making waves on YouTube:

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

Freshly posted on X:

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

Going bananas on Discord:

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Just landed via TikTok:

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Nothing ruins a Friday like realizing it’s only Wednesday.

Spotted on Telegram:

There should be a special rating system for movies that tells you how uncomfortable you’ll be if you watch them with your parents.

Going viral on Facebook:

Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny drunken shopping quotes

New funny drunken shopping quotes 👇

I hate it when some random company refers to me as their “customer.” I’m like, look, we had one night of drunken shopping, we are not in a relationship.

All funny drunken shopping quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨