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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Vaping: When you feel like smoking but don’t want to look cool.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

If I shook my head at every stupid thing I saw, I’d have permanent whiplash.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Listen to the birds, not the news.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

I wonder what John Connor thinks now that everyone is embracing AI.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

Updated

16 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Threads:

At a certain age, all you really want is a good mattress.

Making waves on TikTok:

I bet my calculator app wrapped would be pretty shameful.

Spotted on Instagram:

Making a grown man kiss his camera on Facetime.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Social media may have been a mistake.

Making waves on Slack:

They expect me to work at work.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

Spotted on X:

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I don’t “make friends”. I get adopted by extroverts and they make me do things.

Reported on Discord:

Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.

Home » Funny Encouragement Quotes » Page 2

11 Funny encouragement quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

Updated

16 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

The older I get, the more I appreciate people who pretend not to notice me when they see me out in public.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

I found a box of VHS tapes. I’m a bit nervous about the one that has the label torn off.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

I just heard someone refer to Texas as “Howdy Arabia” and I still haven’t stopped laughing.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Really just want to meet someone who knows what songs not to talk over.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

For my next trick, I’ll need a divorce lawyer.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I’m already excited about who I’m going to think sucks first today.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Everybody’s back hurts until it’s time to have sexy time.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

That awesome moment when you open the fridge and the first thing you see is the thing you wanted to eat.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

Reported on Telegram:

That beeping of the parking assistant when you get too close to other cars. I’d like that for people.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.

Spotted on Messenger:

I never oversleep in the mornings. I set an alarm and a back-up alarm. Plus, there’s also a noisy kid once those fail.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Can’t believe we used to throw eggs at houses, and now we can afford neither eggs nor houses.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

A DM? Flirt on the timeline like a real man.

Freshly posted on Discord:

My mom sent me a text message so long I had to refill my Adderall prescription to read it.

Just shared via Twitch:

Getting a key tattoo, but getting it covered up with a doormat tattoo, so no one ever finds it.

Just landed via WeChat:

If parallel universe exist, I hope the other me is doing well.

Live now on X:

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

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