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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I’m late. I found my old CD collection.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Got a new high score on my bathroom scale.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t like who I become when I’m watching someone Google something less efficiently than I would myself.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Someone said I should think before I speak and I said “eww what a horrible way to live”

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

When phones were tied with wires, people were free. Now that phones are wireless, people are tied.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

793 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,955

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,955

Updated

23 minutes ago

Users Online

3,421

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Adulting has stunned me into silence. I have no thoughts, no remarks and no commentary at the moment.

Shared recently on Twitch:

What idiot called it Catfishing your Tinder Contacts and not Playing With Matches?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.

Spotted on YouTube:

The weather forecast should include the percentage of answers blowing in the wind.

Reported on YouTube:

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Of all the things to lose, why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind?

Just shared via Snapchat:

That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I’m addicted to placebos.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Unfortunately, free coffee in the office will never hit like a $9 iced latte will.

Making waves on Threads:

A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

793 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,955

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,955

Updated

23 minutes ago

Users Online

3,419

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I don’t care about life on other planets. I don’t even have a life on this one.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Human hibernation should be a thing.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

To be fair, a dumpster is like one of the safest places to have a fire.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Get in loser, we’re going overthinking.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Instagram:

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?

Making waves on Reddit:

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

Shared recently on YouTube:

I like you because we hate the same people.

Spotted on Discord:

Guy inventing jogging: how can I suffer, but with music?

Live now on Slack:

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

If I were Noah, I’d bring three of every animal just to create some drama.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Are you there, bathroom walls, ceiling, floor, mirror, sink, and towels? It’s me, the kids toothpaste.

Making waves on Threads:

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Live now on X:

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

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