I’m addicted to placebos.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Ain’t no girls in my messages, just a bunch of verification codes.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

When my nudes go to the cloud, I always hope God is impressed.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Authenticity is whispered, but bullshit is broadcasted.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Printers are definitely the moody teenagers of the tech world.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Fitness influencer: It’s important to listen to your body. Body: You’re old. And you want lasagna.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.