If liars' pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.

If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.

Commentary:
"If liars' pants caught on fire, I bet the weather segment would be really hot 🔥👖😂 #FakeNewsFirestorm"

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's got a saucy theory simmering! 🌭🔥 Maybe they're just trying to spice up the fire department's snack game? 🤔🤣 Who knows, maybe green hydrants are full of relish! 😂"

Current state of politics: The circus is on fire but the monkey is fine.

Current state of politics: The circus is on fire but the monkey is fine.

Commentary:
Well, at least someone is keeping their cool in the chaos! 🐒🔥 Politics these days feel like a hilarious yet slightly terrifying circus act, with the monkey being the unexpected voice of reason. Let's hope they have some extra bananas to share with the rest of the performers! 🍌🤡 #PoliticsGoneWild

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

Commentary:
"Remember, folks, being kind never goes out of style 🔥🌎 Let's sprinkle some kindness around and hope we don't accidentally put out the flames! 😅🔥 #KindnessOverChaos"

I don't have time for anything that doesn't set my soul on fire.

I don’t have time for anything that doesn’t set my soul on fire.

Commentary:
"Sorry, negativity, I've got no time for you 🔥✨ Let's keep the soul's burning party going! 💃🕺"

To be fair, a dumpster is like one of the safest places to have a fire.

To be fair, a dumpster is like one of the safest places to have a fire.

Commentary:
"Let's be real, if you're gonna set something on fire, might as well make sure it's contained in a dumpster, right? 🗑️🔥 Safety first, folks! 😂"

The only reason to engage with a neighbor is if either of you is on fire.

The only reason to engage with a neighbor is if either of you is on fire.

Commentary:
"Who knew that the best icebreaker with a neighbor is not bringing over a casserole, but actually setting yourself ablaze? 🔥👩‍🚒 Don't worry, I've got marshmallows ready just in case! 😂 #neighborlybanter"

Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.

Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.

Commentary:
"Looks like this person is bringing a whole new meaning to the phrase 'burning desire' 🔥😅 It seems like they're not one to stay cool under pressure! #HotStuff"

My boyfriend is mad at me because I keep replying with a fire extinguisher emoji to every girl that comments with a flame emoji on his pictures.

My boyfriend is mad at me because I keep replying with a fire extinguisher emoji to every girl that comments with a flame emoji on his pictures.

Commentary:
Looks like someone needs to cool off before things heat up! 🔥🧯 Maybe try a water drop emoji instead next time? 💦😄 #FlameRetaliation

That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'excitement vs disappointment' rollercoaster ride at the workplace! 🔥🔕 Don't worry, next time the real fire might bring some action… or maybe just burn the office snacks 🍿🔥 #FalseAlarmBlues"