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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

I’m sick of diarrhea. I want to livarrhea.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

During winter, it’s either lazy starvation or eight thousand calories in one sitting.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

I will never forget how to spell bananas, thanks to Gwen Stefani.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Netflix will help you finish spelling the name of the movie you’re looking for, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,830

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

“It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

They don’t put cars in malls anymore, like they used to.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

Live now on Reddit:

Being liked at work comes with so many perks, you could be late as hell, and everyone is just happy to see you.

Going viral on Discord:

I wish I could be as excited about being awake as my dog is about me being awake.

Just shared via Threads:

At first I’m shy, then I’m a podcast.

Just landed via X:

They should invent a second airport for people who have been in public before.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

If she says “you are my world” remember there are other planets. Stay alert, kings!

Shared recently on Snapchat:

It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.

Funny first day quotes

Funny first day quotes bring a burst of laughter and relatability to those nerve-wracking first moments 😂✨ Whether it’s starting a new job, school, or adventure, these witty lines lighten the mood and make awkward beginnings way more fun 🙌🎉 Get ready to smile, chuckle, and maybe even share a giggle with friends as you dive into fresh starts with a dash of humor! 😄🚀

New funny first day quotes 👇

All funny first day quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Slack this month:

Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

60 shares on Telegram this month:

The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

13 shares on Twitch this month:

Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’ve decided that I’m going to underthink today.

89 shares on WeChat this month:

I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

54 shares on Threads this month:

Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

I haven’t had sex in so long, I forgot how to moan, what if I mess up and bark?

18 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m on this new diet where I don’t consume anything that talks to me before the first coffee.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Date night idea: fight another couple.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time my neighbors start moaning, I pause my music to rate the performance.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My dog is quite vain. Whenever the doorbell rings, he thinks it’s for him.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Fun fact: Did you know that removing junk food from your diet can help you lose up to 90% of your will to live?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The weather’s got more mood swings than a reality show reunion.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My problem is, I wanna be the only one at the gym when I go.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,941

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

The Christmas tree I’ve had up all year makes a lot more sense now.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Did anyone else use grocery bags as textbook covers, or was I just that poor?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Do you ever wish you could just walk away mid-conversation when you’re bored?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

My hobbies include using the TV as background noise while I scroll on my phone.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

A drone, but for seeing which fast food drive-thrus have the shortest line.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

My brain at 2 a.m.: “You up?”

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

Trending via Telegram:

Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

Trending via Facebook:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I need to watch his hairline recede.

Trending via X:

I’m so jealous of people who live near a coastal area. What do you mean you can just go to the beach on a random Tuesday?

Just shared via TikTok:

Sheep to the left of me. Cows to the right. Here I am. Stuck on a bus with a view.

Live now on Messenger:

If I win the lottery, I’m buying four politicians and some really nice shoes.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Software engineers are the dumbest smart people I’ve ever met.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

There are people who leave comments on porn videos.

Making waves on Messenger:

My phone screen is brighter than my future.

Just landed via Twitch:

My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.

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