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168 Funny fitness quotes

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How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.
It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.
My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.
Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.
Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

More funny fitness quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

Commentary:
"Living life like an Olympic sprinter: carb-ing up, sprinting hard, then gracefully bowing out for a well-deserved nap 😂🍝💤 #LifeGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: I don’t want to do exercise, but I want to have done exercise.

Commentary:
"I totally get it! The satisfaction of having exercised is unmatched, but the thought of actually doing it… 🏋️‍♂️💭 Procrastination at its finest! 😅"
5 months ago
Share →: Do people who do triathlons know that they don’t have to?

Commentary:
"Triathletes are just overachievers looking for an excuse to wear spandex in public 🏊‍♂️🚴‍♀️🏃‍♂️ Who needs one sport when you can struggle through three, am I right? 😅 #TriathlonTorture"
5 months ago
Share →: Once when I was exercising, I realized that I was allergic to it. I was out of breath, sweating and my heart was racing.

Commentary:
"Exercising: when your body reacts like it's in the middle of a turf war with itself 😅🏃‍♂️💦 But hey, at least you're getting a wheeze-ercise instead of a workout, right? Keep pushing through, even if it means racing with your own heart!"
5 months ago
Share →: Nose so runny it just signed me up for a 10k.

Commentary:
Looks like that nose is ready to hit the pavement and outrun the competition! 🏃‍♂️🏅 Who knew a runny nose could be so ambitious? Just make sure it doesn't try to enter any marathons! 🏃‍♀️😂
5 months ago
Share →: The advantage of being an identical twin: you only need one gym contract.

Commentary:
"Who needs workout buddies when you can just mirror yourself? 💪 Double the gains, half the fees! 🏋️‍♂️ #TwinningGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: Summer Olympics is just me swimming in sweat and wrestling with my sports bra.

Commentary:
"Ah, the Summer Olympics: where sweaty perseverance meets the ultimate sports bra showdown! 💦🏋️‍♀️ Dive into the pool of determination, and may the champion of undergarment wrestling emerge victorious! 💪👙"
5 months ago
Share →: Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

Commentary:
"Who needs dumbbells when you have the sheer willpower to defy gravity and pry yourself from the cozy clutches of your bed every morning? 💪😴 #BedToBeast #MorningStruggles"
5 months ago
Share →: It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

Commentary:
Oh, the eternal struggle of wanting to devour everything in sight but also magically lose weight! 🍔🤷‍♀️ Who needs logic when you can just skip straight to the end result, right? 🤣 #DietDilemmas
5 months ago
Share →: I don’t see why walking is healthy. Zombies walk constantly and they look awful.

Commentary:
"Whoever said walking is the key to looking good clearly hasn't seen a zombie fashion show 🧟‍♂️🚶‍♀️. Maybe the secret to fitness is in dancing like a thriller instead! 💃😆"