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Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡° has shared:

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡΄ has downloaded:

I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡© has shared:

Coding: Where incessantly talking to yourself seems completely normal and debugging is like being a detective in a movie where you are both the detective and the perpetrator.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ό has shared:

Who needs a dominatrix when you can be beaten up by an automatically retracting vacuum cleaner cable?

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ύ has copied:

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡½ has copied:

If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡³ has copied:

I don’t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡¬ has viewed:

So you like bad boys? Cause I’m bad at everything.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,429

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Broadcasted on Discord:

If you don’t believe aliens walk amongst us, who else could write such unnatural dialogue in pharmaceutical commercials?

Reported on Pinterest:

The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, β€œgrr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

Going viral on Slack:

People who don’t admit their mistakes disgust me. I would absolutely admit to a mistake if I had ever made one.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Car rides by yourself with loud music… they’re good for the soul.

Shared recently on Telegram:

The list of women who haven’t slept with me is really impressive.

Spotted on Slack:

Please pray for my husband, he’s struggling to find me.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

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Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month πŸš€

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡΄πŸ‡² has shared:

Life can be so beautiful, you just can’t get sober.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ό has shared:

Welcome to your 40’s: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

Doggy style is out cat style is in. It’s where I let you touch me until I’m satisfied then ignore you and scratch you if you try and touch me again.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡Ώ has downloaded:

If you think I’m annoying, give it some time. You’ll know for sure pretty soon.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡ͺ has shared:

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡« has viewed:

Going back on a dating app is the new walk of shame.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡­ has downloaded:

I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡· has shared:

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ has shared:

I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡· has viewed:

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Trending via Twitch:

I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

Just shared via Instagram:

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

Going viral on X:

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Okay, that’s enough todaying for today.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

Live now on Slack:

This gingerbread house isn’t even close to fire safety codes.

Going viral on X:

I would like to have the peace of mind of a cow. I already have the body.

Just landed via Discord:

I put my music on shuffle then get mad when it doesn’t play the song I want.

Going viral on X:

I love when men go on diets they will be like “let me go for the healthy option”: the buffalo chicken quesadilla.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I can’t come.

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