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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Shoulda named my daughter Calculus cause damn she’s complicated.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Good morning to everyone except those who need approval from strangers on the internet.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Keeping a picture of my bed in a locket around my neck and staring at it longingly on my lunch break.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Venting to ChatGPT is crazy, y’all turning schizophrenic.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

It’s so cool when people who write for a living admit that they don’t read books or have thoughts.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

My least controversial opinion is that IKEA should have a bar. I think we were meant to consume three beers and then purchase a Gjörfbunkle.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

I don’t get involved in anyone’s business, let alone their drama. You should try it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

813 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,975

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,975

Updated

30 minutes ago

Users Online

3,423

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but my doctor says I have an irreversible terminal condition called aging.

Going viral on Messenger:

This year for Thanksgiving, I’ll probably bring what I brought last year… shame upon the family.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

Spotted on Facebook:

My girlfriend just had a go at me for not glistening, whatever that is.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Look, ice cream has eggs in it, therefore it is a breakfast food.

Trending via Telegram:

I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

Just shared via WeChat:

I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to be a documentary.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

813 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,975

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,975

Updated

30 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

A perfect metaphor for my life would be “Someone trying to stand up in a hammock.”

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Drugs don’t ruin lives. Drug tests do.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Don’t be sad, laundry, nobody’s doing me either.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

That thing in video games where you have a great item so you hold onto it but never end up using it? Thats me with fruit.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Friends with consequences.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Might mess around and reply “history will absolve me” to all work emails.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Some people change their faces like traffic lights change their lights.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

I’m a private person except for when I’m publicly trauma dumping on social media.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

Shared recently on Discord:

I’m not “late”, I’m just very creative with my interpretation of “time”.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

Live now on Instagram:

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

Just shared via X:

Don’t study, get slutty!

Broadcasted on Threads:

“Your account balance is low!” Brother, wait until you see my will to live.

Going viral on Snapchat:

If caterpillars are able to sleep for a long time and come out prettier, why cant I?

Going viral on Reddit:

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.

Just shared via Threads:

Peak delusion is believing that a paragraph will make someone treat you better.

Just landed via Pinterest:

My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they’re having fun. Your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that.

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