18 Funny funny comparison quotes

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  3 days ago

  Share →: Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

  Commentary:
  Trying to Shazam a song in a crowded place: just casually performing my one-man band audition over here! 🎶🔨🤦‍♂️

• 

  4 days ago

  Share →: I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

  Commentary:
  That wet sports bra deserves an Olympic gold for wrestling! 🐊🤣🌞

• 

  6 days ago

  Share →: You know when a donkey followed Shrek home and just kept talking? That’s what it’s like having kids.

  Commentary:
  Having kids is like adopting your very own chatty sidekick, but with less hoof and more "why" 🐴🎤👶

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

  Commentary:
  Sounds like Coke is my inner caveman's choice, but Sprite makes me feel like I'm solar-powered! 🌞🦖🔋

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

  Commentary:
  Looks like coffee machines and babies both come with their own set of sleepless nights and surprises! ☕👶🤣

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: “It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

  Commentary:
  "It's all a matter of whether you packed a raincoat or a helmet! 🌧️😅🏋️‍♂️"

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  4 weeks ago

  Share →: Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries: it fills you up nicely but without the buzz…

  Commentary:
  "When you're just here for the fizz, not the 'buzz'! 🍺🔋😄"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

  Commentary:
  🐾🐙 "Theo Von's life: one part raccoon, two parts unexpected subway adventure. Just waiting for him to ask a pigeon for directions. 🚇🗽"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.

  Commentary:
  "Using incense sticks is like expecting the dazzling show of a sparkler 🎇 and getting a subtle whiff of disappointment instead. They're the ultimate 'sparkle-less' firework of the aromatic world! ✨😂"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

  Commentary:
  "Trying to persuade an introvert to attend a party is akin to sending a saint on a sinful adventure to Hell – it's a recipe for an existential crisis! It's like asking a turtle to join a hare for a sprint, or a penguin to audition for 'American Idol' – a mismatch of epic proportions!"

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