Funny quotes gift

64 Funny gift quotes

If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

4 weeks ago

Deodorant? No, I never need to buy any. People just give it to me. Complete strangers sometimes.

1 month ago

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you’re getting a dictionary.

1 month ago

Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.

2 months ago

My problem with Christmas shopping is that I keep seeing things that I like… for me.

2 months ago

Everyone who got my kids board games for Christmas, when are you coming back to play with them?

2 months ago

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

2 months ago

My love language is being sent money.

3 months ago

She doesn’t want flowers, she wants to invoke an ancient curse.

3 months ago

Don’t buy me flowers. A bouquet of KitKats will suffice.

3 months ago

I was going to buy my wife a car for Christmas but then I remembered I don’t live in a commercial.

3 months ago

Can’t wait for my husband to see what he bought everyone for Christmas.

3 months ago

This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

3 months ago

Me, unwrapping a gift: Oh wow, an item. I love these!

3 months ago

Sorry I’m late. I was scraping the clearance tag off your Christmas present.

3 months ago

You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

3 months ago

When I say I’m Christmas shopping the “for myself” is silent.

3 months ago

‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

3 months ago

If cats could send Christmas cards, they wouldn’t.

3 months ago

I’ve decided to give people an attitude instead of gifts this year.

3 months ago