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Surprise! My eyes are wide open and ready to roll… or maybe just roll back into bed 😂👀🎁
109 Funny gift quotes
(While my wife opens up her Christmas present) Remember when you said we needed milk?
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Turning holiday shopping into a dairy emergency, one gift at a time! 🥛🎄😂
Imagine giving someone your heart at Christmas, but the very next day they give it away. Haha, would feel so stupid.
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🎄💔 When you give them your heart for Christmas, but they re-gift it like socks 😂👣
A gentle reminder that if your birth year starts with a 19, you should consider wrapping the Christmas presents on a table, and not on the floor.
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Looks like my back just RSVP'd 'nope' to floor wrapping this year! 🎁🙅♂️🧓
Guess I’ll be getting the same thing for Christmas, again. Fat!
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Another round of cookies, please! It's what Santa would want! 🍪🎅🎄
Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!
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Brace yourselves, the gift of my wisdom is coming! 🎁🙃💬
White elephant: Nothing brings people together like fighting over absolute garbage.
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Nothing says holiday cheer like a room full of people pretending a broken lamp is the Holy Grail 🏺🎁😂
After a quick review of my finances, everyone is going to have to be happy with a forehead kiss for Christmas.
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Looks like Santa's switching to a forehead-only delivery service this year! 🎅💸💋
So I just checked my bank account, and it looks like for Christmas I am getting everyone the thought that counts.
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Looks like my bank account's in stealth mode for the holidays! 🎅💸😂
“I’m asking Santa to bring some of you a sense of humor for Christmas.”
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Looks like some people were left on "read" by Santa last year 😂🎅🎄