Home » Funny God Quotes » Page 7

86 Funny God quotes

Trending Funny God Quotes 🔥

Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.
“You like talking to yourself?” God forbid I seek advice from an expert.
God, I’m not trying to rush you for my soulmate; but could I get the tracking number?
If God had known what mankind would turn into, he would have sterilized Adam.
Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

More funny God quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

Commentary:
Oh boy, sounds like someone's hit the send button with a vengeance! 💌💥 Let's hope they have better luck reaching you through the inbox than with their fists! 😂🙏 #EmailsOverKnockouts
5 months ago
Share →: “And on the 7th day he rested”. Obviously God had not yet created laundry at that point.

Commentary:
Well, isn't it laundry day all day, every day? 😅 Looks like God took a pass on dealing with the mountain of dirty socks and never-ending tumble of mismatched socks! Maybe that's why laundry feels like a never-ending saga! 🧺🙏 Keep calm and fold on!
5 months ago
Share →: I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

Commentary:
"I can totally relate to God too – we both have our struggles when it comes to perfecting our creations! 😂💫 #CreatorProblems"
5 months ago
Share →: Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'bird' request: asking for freedom, soaring high, and of course, a bit of mischief with the pooping privileges 💩🦅 Just remember, with great flying power comes great responsibility… and potentially messy consequences! Watch out below! 😄"
5 months ago
Share →: Love how you can hear the crowd constantly forgetting the queen died and singing “God save the Quing”

Commentary:
Oh, the power of music to bring joy and confusion simultaneously! 🎶👑 It seems the queen's legacy lives on in the hearts of her forgetful subjects, as they belt out "God save the Quing" in a delightful mix-up of history and enthusiasm. Long live the Quing! 🤣 #RoyalConfusion
5 months ago
Share →: In six days God created heaven and earth. On the seventh day, in the interests of balance, the BBC interviewed Satan.

Commentary:
Ah, the ultimate showdown between good and evil! 😈🎥 Looks like even the devil gets his 15 minutes of fame on the BBC. Talk about equal airtime for all sides! 😂📺 #HeavenVsHell #MediaEquality
5 months ago
Share →: “God has a plan for you!” Okay, well, I have some notes for him.

Commentary:
"God has a plan for you!" 🙏 Oh really? Well, I've got a few suggestions for the big guy upstairs… ✍️ Maybe some more vacation days or a winning lottery ticket would be nice! 😜 #CollaborationGoals
5 months ago
Share →: If my trainee says “oh God” one more time, he’s going to meet him.

Commentary:
Looks like the trainee might just get a divine intervention 😂🚂⛪️. Hope they'd say "oh snap" instead!
5 months ago
Share →: God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

Commentary:
"God, presenting the tiger: 'Introducing the Frosted Flakes fanatic of the feline world! 🐯🥣 Bon Appétit, humans!' Here's to hoping they don't mistake Tony the Tiger for their breakfast mascot! 🤣"
5 months ago
Share →: Romance level: At some point, someone comes by, sees me and thinks: “Oh well, my God, why not?”

Commentary:
"Romance level: When your presence is so irresistible that someone's inner monologue goes from 'Oh well' to 'My God, why not?' 🌟😂 Who knew you had that effect on people?"