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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I may not understand women, but cheeseburgers have never sent me mixed signals, and for that they’ll always have my heart.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

There should be 1 day a month without commercials.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

What song lyric resonates with you the most? Mine is “we’re tiny, we’re toony, we’re all a little loony”

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

3,827

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons, and 85% morons.

Going viral on WeChat:

Laxatives help you live up to your full pooptential.

Trending via LinkedIn:

“I’m not concerned about Netflix buying Warner Brothers. None of this will matter once we evolve gills and start living underwater.”

Just landed via Slack:

I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

Just landed via Discord:

It’s just a matter of time until they add “syndrome” after my name.

Trending via Snapchat:

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

Trending via Slack:

Imagine sex with me. No, not like that, you’re doing it all wrong!

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

Trending via Instagram:

This is an awful time to be an educated person.

Just landed via Slack:

My toxic trait is when I’m bored, I start looking for flights to book.

Home » Funny Google Quotes

35 Funny Google quotes

Funny Google quotes highlight the quirks and humor of our favorite search engine! 🔍😂 From witty remarks about our search history to playful observations on Google’s role in our daily lives, these quotes capture the lighter side of digital queries. Enjoy a laugh and appreciate the fun in our tech habits! 😄💻

New funny Google quotes 👇

Bartender asked me to give his place a one-star Google review to keep the vibe lowkey. Insane method.

0

2 weeks ago

asked, bar, bartender, give, Google, google review, humor, insane, keep, lowkey, me, method, one-star, place, prank, review, vibe
I googled my symptoms, and I just need a day with you in the mountains.

0

3 weeks ago

day, getaway, Google, googled, health, humor, i, just, mountain, nature, need, romantic, symptom, symptoms
I consider the second page of Google results the dark web.

0

1 month ago

consider, dark, dark web, engine, Google, Google result, humor, i, internet, internet humor, joke, online, online joke, page, result, results, search, search engine, second, web, web page
I was googling the best time to visit Italy. It is when you have money.

0

2 months ago

best, Google, Googling, humor, i, Italy, money, time, timing, travel, vacation, visit
Hate Google’s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, I’d talk to my mother.

0

2 months ago

family, Gemini, Google, hate, humor, i, ID, misinformation, mother, sarcasm, talk, technology, wanted
Google AI is awesome because it kills the planet and doesn’t work.

0

2 months ago

AI, AI failure, awesome, criticism, environmental, environmental impact, failure, Google, Google AI, humor, impact, innovation, planet, sarcasm, technology, work
You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

0

2 months ago

able, bar, conversation, event, Google, humor, last, memory, night, said, should, social, social event, someone
They should make a Wikipedia for normal people. I should be able to google my barista.

0

2 months ago

able, barista, everyday, everyday life, Google, i, information, life, media, normal, normal people, people, should, social, social media, technology, Wikipedia
Writing is so fun because you get to google things like “woman names”.

0

2 months ago

activity, creativity, fun, Google, humor, names, research, things, woman, writing
Just googled “insanity” over and over but was expecting different results.

0

2 months ago

expectation, Google, humor, insanity, irony, just, repetition, results

For even more funny Google quotes, hit next 👇

All funny Google quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t drink blood to stay young. I do it mainly for the lifestyle.

20 shares on Snapchat this month:

Hey bro, please stop using all the good skipping rocks at the river.

15 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nobody is more stressed than a person who has a lot of interests or passions and is still confused about their career.

78 shares on Twitch this month:

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

90 shares on Reddit this month:

Me and my boys are broke, so we take turns taking pictures of one iced matcha.

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

My dogs don’t feel earthquakes because they have constant gas.

10 shares on Discord this month:

Is it fall yet? I really can’t suck my stomach in much longer.

41 shares on TikTok this month:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

90 shares on YouTube this month:

When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of growing up to satisfy user needs in a way that meets business goals for transformative outcomes.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

“New password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If reports from this daisy are accurate, she loves me not.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You look like the kind of person who would hit rock bottom and then start drilling.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Selling porn is gross, but selling food and small household items is grocer.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes the best thing about my job is that my chair turns.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My New Year’s resolution will be to stop chasing waterfalls, and stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,801

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good…

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

I hate liars, but what I hate more is when they think I’m an idiot and won’t find out the truth.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Yes, I was behind the DJ booth, but only as a cultural anthropologist.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

If history is repeating itself, when can I buy a pet dinosaur?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Every McDonald’s should have a flag they fly at half mast when the ice cream machine is down.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

You’re the ‘S’ to my ‘HTTP’; without you, I’m just a bad connection!

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

My mother told me there is a girl for me in every corner of the earth, but unfortunately the earth is round.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

If my toddler doesn’t sleep again tonight, I’m running away into the forest.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

If I’m ever in a coma, please pluck my chin hairs.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

Next on Tiny Houses: A family of 6 moves into a boat emoji.

Just landed via Messenger:

Fyi, if you like listening to “rain sounds,” they’re almost all recordings of chicken being fried.

Going viral on WeChat:

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

Trending via Telegram:

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

Shared recently on X:

If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

Going viral on X:

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

Going viral on WeChat:

Handsome, you better get to the point, my beer buzz is starting to wear off.

Just shared via Threads:

Saw an article on “100 things to do before you die.” Was surprised Call 911 didn’t make the list.

Just landed via X:

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

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