Might go to prison so I can focus on the gym properly.

Might go to prison so I can focus on the gym properly.

Commentary:
"Who needs distractions when you have bench presses, am I right? 💪🏋️‍♂️ Prison, the ultimate fitness boot camp! 🤣"

Going to the gym to exercise my demons.

Going to the gym to exercise my demons.

Commentary:
"Off to the gym to sweat out my demons and get that exorcise! 💪😈 #FitnessGoals #DemonsBeGone"

My favorite thing to do at the gym is stay home and eat a piece of cake.

My favorite thing to do at the gym is stay home and eat a piece of cake.

Commentary:
"Who needs the gym when you can have a piece of cake workout, right? 🍰💪 Even the dumbbells are jealous of that sweet treat! 😂 #CakeOverWeights"

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

Commentary:
"Wow, talk about getting some 'whine' with your wind workout! 🌬️🍷 Just breezing into the wine store like a true connoisseur. Maybe Mother Nature just knows you need a little vino after that intense cardio session! 💨💪🏼 #windyworkout"

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic midlife crisis conundrum: gym membership and protein shakes vs. Snickers for breakfast in bed 🍫💪 Talk about tough life choices! Looks like the Snickers won the battle this time. Who needs abs when you've got chocolate, right? 🤷‍♂️ #MidlifeCrisisGoals"

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

Commentary:
"Running: the ultimate dodgeball game with gym memberships! 🏃‍♂️💨💸 Don't break a sweat, just outrun your bills! 💸😅"

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

Commentary:
"Who knew skipping the gym could lead to amnesia? 🏋️‍♂️ Maybe it's time to 'weight' no longer and re-exercise your memory muscles!"

Horrifying if literal: my girlfriend is a gym rat.

Horrifying if literal: my girlfriend is a gym rat.

Commentary:
"Looks like your relationship is really working up a sweat! 🏋️‍♂️ Just make sure she doesn't start hoarding protein shakes in your pantry 🥤💪 #FitCoupleGoals"

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone has their fitness priorities stacked… with chips! 🏋️‍♂️🥔 Who needs hydration when you've got a full can of Pringles, am I right? Maybe they're just training for the Snack-athon 🏃‍♂️🍟 #FitnessGoals"

The advantage of being an identical twin: you only need one gym contract.

The advantage of being an identical twin: you only need one gym contract.

Commentary:
"Who needs workout buddies when you can just mirror yourself? 💪 Double the gains, half the fees! 🏋️‍♂️ #TwinningGoals"