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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Thinking of telling my extra weight that I love it so that it can leave me too.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

To-do list: bite the hand that feeds me, put all my eggs in one basket, kill two birds with one stone, let the cat out of the bag, think inside the box, burn bridges, walk on thin ice, play with fire.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Kinda miss when crushes were butterflies instead of complex emotional calculations about compatibility and red flags.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me and I don’t notice.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

I’m a credit card, cause I’m always being used or denied.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

At the end of the day, the day is going to end.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Suicide is never the answer, you gotta outlive your enemies.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

According to the web, caffeine deficiency is a life threatening condition for people around you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,570

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

Breaking via TikTok:

If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

Breaking via Reddit:

“It’s swimsuit season” I say, eating another swimsuit.

Going viral on Instagram:

Sorry to any bands who see me yawn during their show. It’s not you, it’s just past 10pm.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

Breaking via Discord:

Toddlers negotiate like tiny mob bosses: it’s the hard way or the harder way.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I miss having that butterfly feeling. People give me roach vibes at this point.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Instead of renting an apartment, I’m going to save up for a lighthouse and go insane in it.

Making waves on Discord:

Sometimes I apologize to my car when I hit a pothole.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,607

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Laugh all you want. My Encyclopedia Britannica set will never require WiFi.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

My body is a machine that turns pizza into diarrhea.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

There are real people living amongst us who pay for Discord Nitro.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

I think there’s a size limit on engagement rings before they look tacky, to me.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

You want me to pay attention to the details? The thing the devil is in?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Girl to girl: Please have at least two boyfriends.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Feeling lonely? Just glue a coffee cup to the roof of your car. Everyone will wave to you.

Just landed via Discord:

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Like many men my age, my biggest regret is hiring the inexpensive hitman.

Trending via Reddit:

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

Spotted on Slack:

I feel like I’m in jail when I’m around unfunny people for too long.

Breaking via WeChat:

My husband sure has a lot of opinions on which movie he’s gonna sleep through.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

My dad called my philosophy degree a “license for unemployment.”

Going bananas on Reddit:

If I was polyamorous, I think Id date my girlfriend three times.

Seen just now on YouTube:

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

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