Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

Commentary:
Isn't it strange how one hand is the star performer while the other is just a clueless bystander? 🤔🖐️ "Come on, left hand, it's time to step up your game!" 😂✍️ #HandyQuirks
6 months ago
Share →: I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.

Commentary:
😄💀 "I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive. Well, if that isn't the ghost calling the kettle spooky! 👻 Who said the afterlife couldn't have a sense of humor? Just watch out for those ghostly giggles echoing in the night!"
6 months ago
Share →: Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

Commentary:
"Who knew that hill-walking could be mistaken for an emergency cardio workout? 🚑 Next time, maybe we'll add a fake oxygen tank for dramatic effect! 💨 #WalkingTales"
6 months ago
Share →: I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

Commentary:
When this player has a good hand, you can practically see the dollar signs glowing in their eyes! 💰😂 Bet you can always tell when they've got something good up their sleeve – just look for the shimmer of those big money signs! 👀💲#PokerFaceFail
6 months ago
Share →: “Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” Maybe just don’t bite hands. Shouldn’t have to qualify it.

Commentary:
"Words of wisdom: Don't bite hands, folks. Keep those pearly whites in check! 🤭🦷 #NoHandBiting"
6 months ago
Share →: You can count the number of times my wife has agreed with me on one hand, if you don’t have fingers.

Commentary:
Sounds like this guy really doesn't have a leg to stand on when it comes to agreeing with his wife! 🙈🤣 It must be tough keeping score when you're running out of fingers to count on! 🤷‍♂️😂
6 months ago
Share →: Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

Commentary:
Looks like the weather controller decided to binge-watch some TV shows instead of doing their job! 🌦️😴 Next time, they might want to set an alarm ⏰ before they snooze off on us! #WeatherFail
6 months ago
Share →: Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

Commentary:
"Look at you, turning handshakes into a mysterious guessing game 🤔👖 Let the speculation begin: Was it a secret slime operation or simply a mid-meal snack? The world may never know! 🕵️‍♂️🍔 #SneakyHandshakeMoves"
6 months ago
Share →: Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?

Commentary:
"Apparently, getting a toothbrush from the dentist is just a clever strategy to ensure we keep coming back for more dental adventures! 🦷🪥 Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, well, at least my oral health is in good hands! 😂"
6 months ago
Share →: Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand.

Commentary:
"Oh, the joys of modern technology! 🧳💥 Hand-smashed suitcases, the latest trend in travel destruction. Who needs efficiency when you've got good ol' elbow grease, right? 😅 #TravelStruggles"