Wordgag ツ

Jan 20, 2025
Share →: If I got a Dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.

Commentary:
"If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you, I'd probably be contemplating retirement plans by now. 💸 But hey, that just means you're worth every penny of my mental wealth! 💭😄"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

Commentary:
"Oh, so you're the Pac-Man of parties, huh? 🍔🌮🍕🍟 Better watch out for those ghosts in human form trying to catch you! 👻😄 Keep munching and dodging, party on, Pac-Man! 🎉🕹️"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.

Commentary:
Ah, the fantastic four moods – a relatable roller coaster of excuses! 🎢 Who knew getting out of things could be such an art form? 🎨 Next time you need a reason not to do something, just pick a mood and away you go! 🌟 #MoodMaster
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.

Commentary:
"Oh, sweet love! 🍫💕 May your relationship be as deeply indulgent and full of satisfaction as a slice of chocolate cake. Just remember, a little extra sweetness never hurt anyone! 😉🍰 #RelationshipGoals"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.

Commentary:
"Who needs commas when you've got attitude and sass like that? 💁‍♀️ Breathing is overrated anyways, just wing it like the grown adult you are! 😂 #NoCommasNoProblem"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: People always talk about how they love to sit in their cars for a while once they get home. Whenever I do that, my Uber driver yells at me.

Commentary:
"Seems like your Uber driver has a strict 'drop and go' policy! 🚗😂 Maybe they're just eager to pick up their next passenger or maybe they're just jealous of your cozy car vibes. Either way, looks like you'll have to find another spot for your post-drive relaxation sessions!"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: I’ve realized there’s more to life than social media, so I guess this is goodbye for the next 12 minutes.

Commentary:
"Making a grand announcement about taking a 12-minute break from social media is the modern equivalent of a dramatic exit in a soap opera 📵😂 Who knew life could be so thrilling outside the digital world! Enjoy your social media hiatus, adventurer!"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: I hate when people set alarms and it wakes up everybody except for them.

Commentary:
"Maybe we should invent an alarm clock that slaps the person back to sleep 🛌💤 or one that self-destructs if you hit snooze too many times 🤯⏰. Just a thought! 🤷‍♂️😜"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

Commentary:
"If only life were like a cat's – I could just lay around all day, eat to my heart's content, and be adored for my plumpness! 🐱🍕 #FatAndFabulous"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

Commentary:
"Who says only women can rock hair extensions? 🤷‍♂️ Why stop at looking like a centaur when you can aim for full-on mythical creature status? 🦄💇‍♂️💫 #HairGoals"