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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

No parenting book prepares you for the stank of your kid’s soccer bag.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I do not have a “body count.” I have a curious spirit.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Not much is worse than that feeling of going back to work after a lunch, or a vacation, or just going to work in general.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Due to personal reasons, I must make it in life.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

I really miss kissing. I hope next year favors my lips.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Some people buy shoes to feel alive. I buy boarding passes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,553

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Are you http? Because I’m :// without you.

Just landed via Pinterest:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

Live now on Telegram:

How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.

Just landed via Reddit:

The 5 seconds in the morning, when I don’t yet know who I am, is the best time of the day.

Going viral on Slack:

The baddest women come into your life when you have 37 dollars left.

Trending via Twitch:

The void screams into me.

Trending via Snapchat:

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

Trending via Telegram:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

Just landed via WeChat:

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

Funny interpersonal quotes

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All funny interpersonal quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on YouTube this month:

My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

37 shares on WeChat this month:

Spice up your meltdown through interpretive dance.

27 shares on Threads this month:

I always preferred the English spelling of “diarrhea” which is “diarrhoea” because it really looks like you’ve lost control of your vowels.

72 shares on Instagram this month:

The more I practice, the luckier I get.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

“I’m at a point in my life where I don’t go anywhere unless I absolutely have to.”

13 shares on Twitch this month:

If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

It feels like a million o’clock right now.

89 shares on Facebook this month:

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

88 shares on Threads this month:

The real flex is becoming the woman he cannot run back to.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

More often than not, I read applause as applesauce.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry for texting you back instantly. My phone was in my hand, and I’m mature and actually like you.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m actually quite nice. If I had friends, they’d all confirm that.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. This is called the Wurst Käse scenario.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“Please feel free to ignore this email!” Way ahead of you, buddy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,432

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I invoiced my boss two extra hours for the dream I had about work last night. I’m considering that overtime.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

My whole life is basically a blooper reel.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Being skinny may be nice, but chicken nuggets are even nicer.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesn’t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they don’t count.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Me rereading his texts after we’ve already said goodnight just so I can giggle and blush all over again.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

I have this rare skin disease called perfect.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

My favorite delusion is that I just need to get through this week.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

I love when my friends have quiet boyfriends. Like, girl, your dog is so good, sis.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

Look, babe, I’m sorry. If your fake British accent keeps being this geographically inconsistent, I’m going to have to cancel the medieval roleplay sex.

Shared recently on Slack:

Thinking of you while I’m chopping onions.

Spotted on WeChat:

Nobody can ragebait as successfully as your own mother can.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Relationship status: he escaped.

Trending via Snapchat:

It’s like my therapist always says, that’ll be $175.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I made coffee and carried it to the couch. I’ve done everything I had planned for this Sunday.

Trending via Messenger:

Don’t forget, you are someone’s weird colleague.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I grew up ugly, so I had to be funny, and then got hot in my twenties, so that’s how I became perfect.

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