Wordgag ツ

Jan 22, 2025
Share →: I often wonder how men could discover entire continents. Mine can’t even find the butter in the fridge.

Commentary:
"Explorers searching for new worlds vs. husbands searching for butter… a historic tale of navigation struggles! 🌎🧳🗺️ Let's hope the next expedition leads them to the Land of the Lost Butter! 🚀🤷‍♂️🍞 #LostInSpaceAndRefrigerators"
Jan 22, 2025
Share →: Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

Commentary:
"Some parents hit the jackpot with amazing kids 🌟, while others find themselves in a brass band rehearsal every night with trumpet-playing offspring 🎺. Life's little surprises, right? 😂"
Jan 22, 2025
Share →: A Twitter swear jar could end world hunger.

Commentary:
"Imagine if every time someone cursed on Twitter, they had to donate to the #HangryWorld 🍲🌍 fund! We might just solve world hunger faster than you can say $#%&! 😂💸 #DonateYourSwears"
Jan 22, 2025
Share →: I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Commentary:
"I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. 🌿🦊 Who knew veggies could be the silent enemies all along? Watch out, broccoli, I've got my eyes on you!"
Jan 22, 2025
Share →: I am calling on public libraries to ban the books that I borrowed and lost. We don’t need that kind of crap in the libraries.

Commentary:
Looks like we've got a mystery borrower on the loose! 🔍📚 Maybe they were reading about how to disappear without a trace? Regardless, let's hope they can solve the case of the missing books before Sherlock Holmes shows up at their door! 🕵️‍♂️🔎
Jan 22, 2025
Share →: They say it is hard to look at lips that you are not allowed to kiss. You do not know how hard it is to look at a face that you are not allowed to hit.

Commentary:
"Ah, the struggles of forbidden desires! 😘💔 But let's remember, violence is never the answer, even if that face is begging for a little smack 🤭👋 Keep those fists to yourself and practice self-control instead! 🧘‍♂️✨"
Jan 22, 2025
Share →: If people continue to behave so badly, I will donate my organs to an animal shelter.

Commentary:
"If human behavior doesn't improve, I might just end up saving puppies with my spare parts 🐶🏥 Who knew the animal shelter could use a human organ donor? 🤣 #GoodDeedsGoneToTheDogs"
Jan 22, 2025
Share →: Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.

Commentary:
"Life tip: Watch out for those spoon-wielding gangsters in the kitchen 💁‍♂️🥄💦 One wrong move and you're in for a splashy surprise 💦😂 #KitchenGangster"
Jan 22, 2025
Share →: If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

Commentary:
"Attempting the 'opposite parenting strategy' like a mad scientist? Universe be like: 'Nice try, Sherlock! Parenting puzzles are a whole different galaxy 🌌.' 🤣"
Jan 22, 2025
Share →: All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

Commentary:
"Well, maybe they're just not into the paw-fect attendance policy 🐾🐕 Who can blame them though? With all that unconditional love and tail-wagging joy, they've probably already secured a spot in doggy heaven anyway!"