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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I’ve had enough. I’m ready to spend an eternity in the arms of my lover.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I hope “be the light you want to see in the world” doesn’t refer to Molotov Cocktails.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Losing and then immediately gaining weight is my superpower.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

“Never let someone else destroy your stuff when you can destroy it yourself”, every kid I ever.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

I could never be in the mafia, those guys stay up way to late.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

They should have made a pool raft that looked like a broken door when Titanic was in theaters. I bet it would have sold millions.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,641

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Most men will receive their first bunch of flowers at their funeral.

Just shared via WeChat:

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

Trending via WeChat:

Imagine thinking you have any clue what’s going on.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

Making waves on Snapchat:

The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

Breaking via TikTok:

Awake? You may be entitled to compensation.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Shared recently on Threads:

I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.

Just shared via Pinterest:

My playlist is so random, I be heartbroken, thugged out, and yeehaw all at the same time.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Staying weird for my own sanity.

Funny Jaws quotes

Funny Jaws quotes give a lighthearted twist to the iconic thriller that has kept us on edge for decades. 🦈🎬 From humorous takes on the suspenseful scenes to playful riffs on the memorable lines, these quotes showcase the film’s ability to entertain in unexpected ways. Dive into the fun and enjoy a laugh as you revisit the ocean’s most famous predator! 🦈🎬

New funny Jaws quotes 👇

All funny Jaws quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Pinterest this month:

They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

When you realize your punishments as a kid (stay home, take a nap, no junk food, go to bed early) are now your goals as an adult.

91 shares on WeChat this month:

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

83 shares on YouTube this month:

At my age, a trail of clothes leading to the bedroom, means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

AirPods are hungry for earwax. It’s your job to feed them.

77 shares on WeChat this month:

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

67 shares on Discord this month:

Nobody at this train station knows that there’s a hole in my sock.

33 shares on Facebook this month:

My New Year’s resolution is to be less presumptuous and rude to others. I’ll bet yours is to lose weight, isn’t it?

43 shares on Instagram this month:

Parents be like “Boys are easier,” and then their daughter has to save the family from ruin.

94 shares on Twitch this month:

My southern family thinks my daily routine in NYC is that I wake up, try really hard not to get stabbed by a knife, and then I go see a musical.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst thing you can do when you notice your kids are playing nicely together is telling them that they’re playing nicely together.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The gym gives you energy, but you need energy to get to the gym. Feels like a pyramid scheme, if you ask me.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

All my bills say “Outstanding.” I guess I am good to go.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If every lesbian is into older women, who’s gonna like the younger ones?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Shout out to everyone who cooks at 180°C for 20 minutes, no matter what the instructions say.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,296

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Don’t worry, bro. She’s probably just working on a puzzle right now. She’ll get back to you.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Awake? You may be entitled to compensation.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

My superpower? Staying calm when talking to idiots.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

They should invent a relationship that doesn’t turn into the worst experience of my entire life.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly express how much I want to hit you with a chair.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Nobody rots in bed like I do.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

The wind is about to blow me to Oz, so if you see me flying past your window, mind your business.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

I’m so lazy, I let my battles pick me.

Just landed via X:

It’s a good thing when your therapist sits down with a bucket of popcorn, right?

Going viral on YouTube:

I love to see “pan-fried” on a menu. I hate food that’s fried in a shoe.

Going bananas on Twitch:

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

Trending via Slack:

Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

Spreading quickly via X:

Peak delusion is believing that a paragraph will make someone treat you better.

Breaking via Slack:

This entire year I was method acting. None of it was real. I was working on a bit.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Maybe women decided to convince men that beards were sexy because they were sick of cleaning the washbasin after he shaved.

Trending via TikTok:

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

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